Patience

God grant me patience.

And I want it *right now*!!!

I've got lots to do.  Too much?  Well, some of it, like preparing taxes, has to be done, anyway.  I've got to get the Christmas cleared away.  (One of the reasons I don't like doing Christmas decorations in the first place.)  I've got to wet mop the floors.  (I got the laundry done a bit early, which I usually do.)  I've got to get some bills paid, and get the accounts up to date.

But, do I have to do more work on the sermons?  It's not like anybody is going to read them.  Do I have to do more work on my memoirs?  It's not as if anybody is going to read that, either.  The Jesus Film Festival project?  Seems that's dead for this year, although I suppose I should be prepared, in advance, for all the objections about why we can't do it this year, next year.  (Idea entrepreneur: you've got to be ready with a ton of ideas, because trying to get anybody to help with one that they don't immediately buy into is pretty much impossible.)  The Grief Guys thing?  Lucked out at the right time.  The church grief thing?  Well, that seems to be possible, but, boy!  It's veered off in a really weird direction.  (I suppose I've got to be ready just in case I can get it to veer back.)  I've got two ideas for Literacy Alberni, and I've got a positive reaction on one, and I strongly suspect that the other will get a similar reaction, but the Society is pretty much stuck on just getting re-started after the pandemic.  And I've got to get studying more stuff for ESS, but JIBC isn't making it any easier.

So, nothing is going to happen, at least not in any hurry.  But, I've still got to get things in place so that I can be ready if and/or when anybody does get interested in any of the projects.

It's rather tiring.  And not terribly rewarding.  (And I strongly suspect that my need for *some* kind of positive reinforcement is getting dire.)

I mentioned a church related event to the girls, and L made some comment about them reaching out to me.  I'm really not sure about that.  I mean, I'm a grieving widower.  In terms of church recruitment, I'm fresh meat.  I'm so lonely that one kind word and I'm on board.  (One of my earlier grief groups was also mentioning "the casserole brigade" in regard to widowers.  How come nobody is bringing me casseroles?  OK, granted, a year later is a bit late in the day, but nobody ever did, even immediately after Gloria died.)

Anyway, if I'm behind, it's because I'm out walking, rather than getting "necessary" stuff done.  For the past year, walking, just getting out and walking, is about the only thing that I can count on that, even if it isn't immediately enjoyable, at least usually isn't a terrible disappointment.