Advice on advice

Well, he did ask.  He asked how I was, and I said terrible.  He asked what I was looking for in a church, and I said I was looking for a church that cared whether I lived or died.  To his credit, he did not immediately and automatically object that their church cared whether I lived or died.  So it wasn't just an auto response.  But he didn't really respond, either.

He asked whether I was at peace with myself.  I did think about that.  But, by and large, I *am* at peace with myself.  I know that I'm very definitely not perfect.  I know what I am capable of, and what I have trouble with.  I know that I am not as capable as I was before Gloria died, and that my cognitive capacities are somewhat impaired.  I still know that I can function at a reasonable level, and I'm okay with that.  I know that there are a number of areas where I am not confident, and I'm okay with that too.  So, I replied that, yes, generally I was at peace with myself.

So, for an hour and a half, when he wasn't distracted by driving, or spotting the next charity target, he advised me, basically, that I needed to be at peace with myself.  After several repetitions of this, I pointed out that I had said that I was at peace with myself, and he changed his wording to say that I needed to find some comfort of mind, rather than peace of mind.

Oh, really?  Yah think?

Yeah, I can definitely use some comfort.  Starting with, I'd like somebody to listen to me.  *Listen* to me.  How I'm feeling.  Listen to Gloria's story.  Listen without feeling the need (or the license) to give me advice.  As if I'm stupid.  As if cliched pieces of standard advice, which probably don't apply to very much of anybody anyway, are what I need.  Listen to what I actually *do* need.  Listen, rather than maundering on with cliches, and partial ideas that never do get completed, for an hour and a half.  It was hard work trying to listen to it.  It was hard work trying to parse out any kind of useful idea out of the mass of verbiage.  And, in the end, it was not of any benefit at all.

Yes, I could use some comfort.  Starting with somebody who will listen.

Which he, signally, did not.