CoSMI - 1.0.1.20 - Authenticity - True Self - who you truly are

CoSMI - 1.0.1.20 - Authenticity - True Self - who you truly are

The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.

― Carl Gustav Jung

Gloria was never interested in acting of any sort.  A lot of people tried to get her to participate in amateur dramatics, particularly musicals or light opera because of her singing voice.  Even when I was roped into a church Christmas pageant, she had no interest in participating in the acting herself.  She frequently said that she had spent so long figuring out who she was; why should she try and pretend to be someone else?

I suppose that I should have been more sympathetic to her position than I was.  As a teacher, I tend to use a fair amount of drama to make the material interesting, and I tend to do a fair amount of acting in order to present myself forcefully when I am, in reality, an introvert.  But I suppose that it is only now that I am trying to put this material together that I am recognizing how difficult it is, in our world, to be truly one's own self.  To be true to yourself and who you are.  To actually know who you are, in order that you can be yourself.  As Carl Jung said, it's a privilege to be yourself.  It is a privilege to know who you are, and to be able to behave in your own manner without interference from other people or society overall.  There are so many pressures on us to behave in some other way that is not ourselves.

But above all, in order to be, never try to seem.

― Albert Camus, Notebooks, 1935-1951

I suppose that it should not be a surprise that Albert Camus made such a statement.  He is, after all, the father of existentialism.  Trying to figure out the truth of your own existence, and not to add anything extra and false.  Be who you are, don't just pretend to be something.  Because if you aren't being who you are then you are trying to be something that is false.

This is all the more important when working in social media.  After all, there is the truism that on the Internet nobody knows that you are a dog.  Nobody knows who you are, so you can present yourself in any way that you want to present yourself.  You can, in fact, present an entirely false picture of yourself.  But, if you aspire to the position of an influencer, why would you do that?  You are trying to convince people to follow your advice.  Why would you start by start trying to get people to trust you by lying to them?

Find out who you are and do it on purpose.

— Dolly Parton

And, as has been previously pointed out in this series, finding out who you are is not necessarily easy.  It takes work.  Particularly since there are so many people, and so many pressures from society, that are trying to convince you to be something other than you are, and to behave in certain ways that aren't necessarily consistent with who you actually are.  So, do make the effort to find out who you actually are.  And then, be that person.

There is also the saying that you should always be yourself, since everybody else is already taken.  Yes, it's a bit of a joke, and it sounds silly.  But, in reality, it's very profound.  And also very important.

To thine own self be true

It's kind of weird that in the play Hamlet, it is the character of Polonius who gets one of the most powerful lines.  Polonius is a dried up old character, and doesn't seem to be too important, other than the fact that he gets killed while he's spying on someone, which is only important because it sets up an important fight at the end.  But he's the one who has the great line, "to thine own self be true."  This is so important.  And, yes, I know that I haven't said anything terribly profound in this piece, and just have repeated over and over again that you need to be your own self.  But it's just that important.  If you try to be someone else, you are going to fail.  You are going to be unhappy.  And you are going to be unhappy because you have tried to do the wrong thing.  You have tried to be the wrong thing, rather than being true to yourself.

To put it in Christian terms, God created you the way that you are.  You need to act the way God wants you to act.

CoSMI series:

Previous: https://fibrecookery.blogspot.com/2026/05/cosmi-10111-authenticity-know-yourself.html

Introduction and ToC: https://fibrecookery.blogspot.com/2026/05/cosmi-00100-introduction-and-table-of.html

Next: TBA

CoSMI - 1.0.1.11 - Authenticity - Know Yourself - psychological testing

CoSMI - 1.0.1.11 - Authenticity - Know Yourself - psychological testing

Jeremiah 33:3

Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.

There is one area of psychology that might be a little less susceptible to subjectivity, and that is standardized testing.  There are a number of tests in psychology that are standardized over a large population.  Some of these tests might be of limited use to you, such as intelligence tests, but there are also tests of character traits, as well as other tests that might help you to get to know yourself in a variety of different ways.

Sometimes a battery of these tests might be offered together for one fixed price.  Generally speaking, you will find these offerings if you search on things like career counseling.  Unfortunately, while the tests are standardized, the advice that you might get once you have the results of the tests may vary.

The results of some of these tests might be quite complex.  They might give you insights into your own character, but some of them can be very complex, and you almost need training in order to understand the results.  Some of them, on the other hand, can be quite simple.

One tool that I have found quite useful over the years is an extremely simple matrix that relies on you asking yourself only two questions.  The first question is would you rather deal with tasks (or problems), or would you rather deal with people?  The second question is, do you consider yourself to be an active person, or are you more passive?  The results of the answers to these two questions gives you four options, task active, task passive, people active, and people passive.  You can group the answers into a 2 by 2 four-part matrix, but you don't have to.  You can simply think of the four options.  The four options tend to tell you what type of person you are.  Task-active people tend to be managers and drivers of activities.  Task-passive people tend to be analytical and possibly researchers.  People-active personalities tend to be those who are entertainers or salespeople.  People-passive personalities tend to be the people who are the glue that holds society together.  They are those who care for others and make sure that others are feeling all right, without necessarily pushing themselves forward into a specific position in order to do so.

This matrix not only can identify you and tell you something about yourself, but it can also be used as a tool for resolving certain types of conflict.  For example, a task-active manager may be someone who is impatient with the details that a task-passive analyst may be attempting to provide to them.  In that case, there might be a conflict.  In order to resolve the conflict, the task-passive person should be prepared to reduce the facts and details to be presented to the manager into as small a space as possible.  They should also be prepared, as quickly and forcefully as possible, to explain why the details that they do have to present to the manager must be considered in order for the manager to make the proper, informed decision.  Similar types of conflicts can be addressed in the other quadrants of the matrix.

This matrix is extremely simplistic, and some would say that it is too simplistic to be effectively used as a guide to behavior and activities.  However, I am simply using it as an example of the type of psychological testing that I can here explain quite quickly, but which gives you an example of how psychological testing might be useful to you in a variety of situations.

CoSMI series:

Previous: https://fibrecookery.blogspot.com/2026/05/cosmi-10110-authenticity-know-yourself.html

Introduction and ToC: https://fibrecookery.blogspot.com/2026/05/cosmi-00100-introduction-and-table-of.html

Next: https://fibrecookery.blogspot.com/2026/05/cosmi-10120-authenticity-true-self-who.html

CoSMI - 1.0.1.10 - Authenticity - Know Yourself - psychology

CoSMI - 1.0.1.10 - Authenticity - Know Yourself - psychology

Psalm 32:8

I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;

    I will counsel you with my loving eye on you.

I have to be careful here.  I have to point out that I'm neither a psychiatrist, a psychologist, nor do I have certification as a counselor, nor do I even pretend to be a life coach.  I do have quite a bit of background in courses in psychology.  If you are in college or university, I would highly recommend that, whatever other course of study you are taking, you take courses in psychology.  Studying psychology will be a benefit to you regardless of what other career you plan to pursue.  Whatever you are going to be working on, you are going to be working with people, and understanding how people work is going to be very useful to you.

Particularly if you want to know how *you* work.

That said, a bit of background on various aspects of psychology and psychological counseling.

Psychology, as a field, is only a little bit over a century old.  It got its start with psychiatry.  Psychiatry is based on a number of theories which a number of people now feel are rather suspect, and which don't appear to be particularly effective as compared to other kinds of therapies.  It is where this all started.  Psychiatrists also have to be trained as medical doctors, and psychiatrists are the ones who can prescribe certain psychiatric medications.  Psychologists do not have to be medical doctors.  Psychological counselors, generally speaking, have at least a master's degree in the study of psychology, as well as certification as psychological counselors.  There are some who have less formal education, but still have certification as counselors.  There are those who advertise themselves as life coaches, and there is no requirement for any formal study at all.  Life coaches are just people who set themselves up as life coaches.  Caveat emptor.

Generally speaking, if your family doctor says that you need some kind of psychological counselling, he will refer you to either a psychiatrist or a psychological counsellor.  In this case, part of the cost of the counselling sessions will be covered by medical insurance.  Otherwise, if you just wish to talk to a psychological counsellor yourself, you are going to have to pay for the counselling.  Even if you are referred by your family doctor, psychological counselling, in actual practice, tends to cost more than medical insurance is willing to cover.  Certainly, if you are paying for the psychological counselling yourself, that can be quite expensive.  Unfortunately, there is very little to say that the quality of the counselling that you receive is going to match what you pay for it.  Psychological counsellors, although they tend to take similar training, still will have preferences in terms of the way that they think psychological problems should be addressed.  This may or may not be consistent with what you want to do with regard to psychological counselling.  Once again, let the buyer beware.

Having pointed out all the possible problems with psychological counseling, you may be wondering why on earth I am even bothering to recommend it.  Counseling can provide you with insights.  Psychology can provide you with insights.  I have taken many courses of study in a variety of fields of psychology over the course of my career.  Over the course of a lifetime with depression, I have also had a lot of experience with a lot of different varieties of psychological counseling.  Sometimes I have simply found out that I am, basically, an unhappy person.  Sometimes I have found out things that helped me in a variety of ways.  Sometimes I have done my own psychological research and study and found out some very useful tools and techniques.

There is value in psychological counseling, but there are, unfortunately, no guarantees.

CoSMI series:

Previous: https://fibrecookery.blogspot.com/2026/05/cosmi-10109-authenticity-know-yourself.html

Introduction and ToC: https://fibrecookery.blogspot.com/2026/05/cosmi-00100-introduction-and-table-of.html

Next: https://fibrecookery.blogspot.com/2026/05/cosmi-10111-authenticity-know-yourself.html

CoSMI - 1.0.1.09 - Authenticity - Know Yourself - Mindfulness

CoSMI - 1.0.1.09 - Authenticity - Know Yourself - Mindfulness

Deuteronomy 18:9

When you enter the land the Lord your God is giving you, do not learn to imitate the detestable ways of the nations there.

You don't have to do all the work yourself, as you would have to do if you simply followed introspection.  You can get psychological counseling.  We are going to talk about that, but first I would like to talk about mindfulness.  I would like to talk about mindfulness first because it is a potentially useful tool, but secondly, if you do go for psychological counseling, it is extremely likely, in the current environment, that they are going to set you on the path of mindfulness anyway.  It's very popular right now.

I do not want to recommend mindfulness unreservedly.  Originally, mindfulness came from a weird variant of Eastern mysticism known as Transcendental Meditation that arose in the 1970s.  It became very popular for a while, and then sort of fell out of favor.  Except for the mindfulness part, which sort of lived underground for a while, and then, as I pointed out, became popular once again in psychological counseling circles.  But its origin does give it certain problems.  Particularly for those that I am addressing in this particular series, who are, after all, Christian.  Eastern mysticism is not terribly consistent with Christian theology and philosophy.  Although mindfulness has been semi-sanitized by various people who have tried to extract it from its Transcendental Meditation origins, it's surprising how often the philosophies of Buddhism, Hinduism, and other Eastern philosophies and religions pop up.  If you examine the materials on mindfulness carefully, you will find that the concepts of Nirvana and attempting to achieve a state of nothingness come up a lot.

(I should tell a story that will point out just how pernicious this danger can be.  I attended a session where they were discussing Transcendental Meditation and the potential risks.  One person challenging the presentation said that he used Transcendental Meditation just for the purposes of aiding studying and wasn't taken in by the mysticism parts of it.  The presenter asserted that even if you didn't think you were being taken in, you were being affected by it.  "No, I'm not," said the challenger.  "Yes, you are," said the presenter.  "No, I'm not," said the challenger.  This seemed to be pretty pointless until the presenter said to the challenger, "All right, if you are not being affected by the mysticism, then tell us your mantra."  The mantra was an aid to meditation given during Transcendental Meditation, just simply a word that the meditator would repeat.  However, the philosophy of Transcendental Meditation said that the mantra was a secret and should not be disclosed to anyone.  The challenger, even though there was no point in not disclosing his mantra, would not do it, thus proving the presenter's point that he was, in fact, being influenced by the Eastern philosophy behind the practice.)

You don't have to go for psychological counseling in order to get training in mindfulness.  If you just do a search on the Internet, you will come up with all kinds of people and websites who are willing to train you on mindfulness.  An awful lot of them, of course, will want you to buy books or take courses or otherwise pay them.  However, there are courses out there that will teach you about the basics of mindfulness without charging you anything for it.  Go and find these sites, but remember they are going to vary in quality.  Anything that you find on the Internet should be taken with a grain of salt.  Possibly a whole bag of salt.

The online sites that are going to be useful to you will assist you with the business of sitting in silence, and then asking yourself the kinds of questions that we have already started to explore.  Think about how you feel.  Think about why you feel that.  First of all, just examine your own feelings: physical sensations, what do you hear, how comfortable do you feel, what do you feel emotionally.  Use this to learn more about yourself.  The better mindfulness sites will guide you in asking these questions and in examining the answers that you get from this practice.

As I say, for a Christian, the practice of mindfulness is not without its risks.  Please do be careful.  I have not yet experienced a mindfulness site that is not contaminated with Eastern mysticism and philosophies in one way or another.  I cannot unreservedly recommend it as a practice.  However, it can help you if you do it carefully and prayerfully.

CoSMI series:

Previous: https://fibrecookery.blogspot.com/2026/05/cosmi-10108-authenticity-know-yourself.html

Introduction and ToC: https://fibrecookery.blogspot.com/2026/05/cosmi-00100-introduction-and-table-of.html

Next: https://fibrecookery.blogspot.com/2026/05/cosmi-10110-authenticity-know-yourself.html

CoSMI - 1.0.1.08 - Authenticity - Know Yourself - introspection

CoSMI - 1.0.1.08 - Authenticity - Know Yourself - introspection

Psalm 139:14

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

I have suggested the simplest aspect of getting to know yourself, that of just sitting with yourself, in silence.  And, I suppose, I have suggested the next step, for some; that of not being afraid of just sitting with yourself in the silence.

But, of course, this may not give you all the answers you need.  As a matter of fact, it's pretty much guaranteed that it will not give you all the answers that you need.  So you need to do some introspection.  Introspection is the more analytical part of sitting alone with yourself.  You start to ask yourself the same questions as I suggested that you ask your family and friends.  What type of person am I?  What is it that I am afraid of?  What is it that brings me joy?  What is it that I want?  And don't be afraid that you'll mess things up if you ask yourself "what do I want right now."  Like sitting with yourself in silence, introspection takes time, and practice, and it will take many sessions before you really start to see that you were getting some benefit out of it.  I don't want to scare you off, but it may actually take years.

But once you start, you will find that you do start to get some answers.  And then you question those answers.  What is it that brings me joy?  How do I achieve that joy?  What do I need to do in order to make it possible, more often, to obtain that Joy?  And so forth.

All of this; the silence, sitting in silence, getting away from the distractions of the world, not being afraid of the silence, asking your family and friends, and introspection; is intended to allow you to start to know yourself.  As was pointed out earlier, knowing yourself is essential to authenticity, and ensuring that you remain authentic in your postings as a social media influencer.

Depending upon how far along on your own prospective path, and journey to knowing yourself; and also depending upon how far along in developing your own prayer life, you may find that this practice of introspection becomes a part of your prayer life.  While you are asking questions of yourself, and about yourself, you may find that you are asking God for answers to the same questions.  You may also find that you are asking God how God would have you change and develop.  This is quite okay.  You may also find similar things happen during your Bible study, where a verse will "jump out" and speak to you, your character, or your activities.

But this is only the first and simplest step.  There are other, more formal steps that you can take in order to know more about yourself, and therefore ensuring that you remain authentic.  We'll suggest a couple of them.

CoSMI series:

Previous: https://fibrecookery.blogspot.com/2026/05/cosmi-10107-authenticity-know-yourself.html

Introduction and ToC: https://fibrecookery.blogspot.com/2026/05/cosmi-00100-introduction-and-table-of.html

Next: https://fibrecookery.blogspot.com/2026/05/cosmi-10109-authenticity-know-yourself.html

CoSMI - 1.0.1.07 - Authenticity - Know Yourself - friends

CoSMI - 1.0.1.07 - Authenticity - Know Yourself - friends

Proverbs 17:17

A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.

But you don't have to rely entirely upon yourself.  You don't have to sit in silence forever, waiting to figure yourself out.  There are people who can help you.

Your family.  Your friends.

Ask them.  Now, I say "them," advisedly.  Don't just ask one friend.  Ask multiple friends.  Ask your friends who you are.  Ask your family who you are.  Friends may be slightly more reliable than family.  Family, in particular parents, pretty automatically have certain things that they want you to be.  They may be aware of this, and they may fight against it, but they do have things that they would prefer that you be, rather than certain other things.  Sometimes your family, and even your parents, can fight their way past their expectations, and give you an honest assessment.  So ask them.  Take their answers with a little bit of salt, but they are the people who know you best: who live with you for the most time.

So ask your family and friends.  Ask acquaintances.  Ask people who have only known you for a short time, and ask them what kind of a first impression you make.  Since you intend to be an influencer on social media, there are going to be an awful lot of people who encounter you for the first time, and it's very valuable to know how you come across to people who don't know you very well.

Ask if you are a serious person.  If you are a funny person.  If you are a thoughtful person.  If you are a reliable person.  Ask all of these questions about yourself.  About how other people see you.  (I should note that this should not be the only topic of conversation: you should ask about the other person for a good amount of the time that you spent talking with them.  It's only fair.)

If you have aspirations to be an influencer, you probably have some idea of what an influencer should be.  And you probably hope that you have some of the characteristics of an influencer.  So there are things that you hope that you are, that your friends may not identify in you.  In fact, they may say that, no, this characteristic that you consider to be very important for an influencer is not present in your character at all.

Do not panic.  And, in terms of panicking, do not immediately try to create this characteristic within yourself.  Do not try to learn how to present yourself in such a way that it appears that you have this characteristic, whether you have this characteristic or not.  That is not going to be successful.  There is the old joke about sincerity being vitally important, and once you can fake sincerity you've got it made.  But it's a joke.  It is not career advice.

The thing is, if you don't have that characteristic, well, you don't have that characteristic.  There is no point in trying to fake it.  If you do try to fake it, you will come across as inauthentic.  It may take a while for people to see through you, but, the longer it takes, the more they will turn against you when they finally realize that you have, essentially, been lying to them all along.  So don't try to fake it.

But the other part of not panicking is, you may be wrong.  You may be wrong in that this characteristic, that you think is vitally important to an influencer, may not be all that important at all.  It may not be a significant factor in the success of any given social media influencer.  So just keep on doing your best, and presenting yourself authentically, and your authenticity will probably outweigh the lack of whatever characteristic you think you should have, and you don't have.

The other way that you may be wrong is, well, your friends and family might be wrong.  You may have this characteristic, only not to a major extent.  You may have this characteristic as an underlying component of your personality.  And, when it becomes important, if you remain authentic, if you remain honest, and present what you know to be your true self, then that characteristic will come to the fore when it is needed.

CoSMI series:

Previous: https://fibrecookery.blogspot.com/2026/05/cosmi-10106-authenticity-know-yourself.html

Introduction and ToC: https://fibrecookery.blogspot.com/2026/05/cosmi-00100-introduction-and-table-of.html

Next: https://fibrecookery.blogspot.com/2026/05/cosmi-10108-authenticity-know-yourself.html

CoSMI - 1.0.1.06 - Authenticity - Know Yourself (part 2)

CoSMI - 1.0.1.06 - Authenticity - Know Yourself (part 2)

Psalm 139:1

You have searched me, Lord, and you know me.

As I say, not all of you will be afraid of this.  But, some of you might find it very frightening.  Why is it that you find the silence so frightening?

In fact, we do find silence frightening, very often.  We are used to the constant noise distraction that the world throws at us.  The police understand that silence is frightening.  This is why, when they questioning suspects, they sometimes simply sit in silence.  They know that the silence is more terrifying than any threats that they can make, and they know that, if they wait in silence, then, in order to fill the silence, the suspects may start talking, and may say a lot more than they intended to.

But this is, perhaps, a little bit distant from your situation as an influencer in social media.  So, why do you find silence so frightening?

Is it possibly because you are used to the world telling you who and what you are?  Is it possible that you are used to the fact that the world is constantly whispering who you are, what you want, what you need, and all kinds of other information.  And if that information is gone, even if it is disinformation, do you really exist?  Maybe that is the frightening question or the frightening part of the question?

If so, we can address that problem.  It isn't really a problem.  If you sit and wait, and don't allow yourself to be frightened, you will start to feel who you are.  You will start, I grant, very slowly, to feel what it is that you want, rather than what the world wants you to want.  You will start to realize your own ideas, rather than the opinions that the world would like you to have.  Don't let the initial fear terrify you.  This will pass.  Unplugged from the world, even if only for a little while, you will start to realize who you are.  You will start to know yourself.

CoSMI series:

Previous: https://fibrecookery.blogspot.com/2026/05/cosmi-10105-authenticity-know-yourself.html

Introduction and ToC: https://fibrecookery.blogspot.com/2026/05/cosmi-00100-introduction-and-table-of.html

Next: https://fibrecookery.blogspot.com/2026/05/cosmi-10107-authenticity-know-yourself.html