Tuesday

Tuesday was another bad day.  Not as bad as Meltdown Friday maybe, but it was really disappointing.

Not all of it, of course.  It started out really well.  I'd walked down to the river to check out whether the atmospheric effect was still in effect.  It was.  Maybe not as tall columns as there had been earlier, but then again, maybe I was a bit later in the day.  On the other hand it was colder, so shouldn't have that have increased the effect?  Anyway, it was good to see that it was still working, and I still have some opportunities to observe it, and maybe even get some pictures.  I did take a few pictures with the phone, and tried to post them to Instagram, with less than successful results.  (I tried again today, and, even later, the columns on the water were even lower, but it was kind of interesting to see very small columns, only about a foot high, and I might have been able to get some shots of that.)  (No, they weren't great ...)

The real disappointment was the Bible study.  A number of aspects that I had thought might turn out to be positive, turned out to be a misreading of the situation by me at best, and possibly total delusions on my part.  In addition, it went on far too long.  And, because of trying to raise an issue in the presentation, rather badly, I seem to have forced myself into a position where I may have to continue to attend for a while.  On the other hand, why?  Do I care what any of these people think?  They seem to be a pretty insular group, and it's unlikely that all encounter them in any of the other areas of volunteer work around the town.

But that sort of threw off my plan and schedule.  I didn't get in the walk that I thought I was going to get in.  I did get to the library, and saw C again.  He asked about whether I would like to volunteer for one of his projects.  I had given him a card earlier: apparently the printing is just too small for him to read.  But he asked for my email address, and I gave it to him verbally, and we'll see if we actually get in contact.  Again, nice to be presented with a possible opportunity, but disappointing that I made such a small impression that I wasn't worth the effort to get a hold of.

After that, I had a large block of time free.  However, because of the disappointment of the Bible study, I didn't use it very effectively.  I obviously wasn't working at full capacity.  I did get a few things done, before it was time to head out for the grief group, but I didn't really feel any sense of accomplishment.

Grief group kind of put the capper on the day.  I'm not getting an awful lot out of it.  It may be that I am further along than the people in this particular group.  But, in addition, my contributions don't seem to be contributions.  I don't seem to be helping anybody, any more than I'm getting any help.  And, the homework for this week, is to find something that will bring you joy, or would bring you joy.  Oh, joy.  This is always a difficult one for me.  What does, or will, make me happy?  What do I enjoy?  What would bring me joy?  I've never been any good at that.  Gloria always used to complain about it, usually in terms of what the heck was she going to get me for my birthday/Christmas present?  So, I don't know what to answer.  Well, I did come up with one possible answer: a nice long soak in a hot tub.  But that doesn't seem to be happening very often these days.  A number of the activities that I am getting, or have gotten myself, involved with, are interfering with getting in a bath, and soaking, and possibly reading, and still getting to bed on time.

However, this morning I am feeling a bit better.  I got up early again, and I got through dealing with spam, and reading the basic email, without making too many mistakes in the process.  Even taking into account the games and shenanigans that I have to play in terms of Shaw's Webmail.  And I did manage to come up with at least four blog posting items which I have already dictated by now.  And possibly an idea for another.  We'll see how that goes.  And I'm still got time to do a bit of shopping before I have to get to today's Bible study.  And then L is going to feed me some of her wonderful soup, and that always makes it a good day  :-)