Wednesday, April 3, 2024

MGG - 5.04 - HWYD - obstetrics

In regard to first aid, I should possibly mention that I have taken obstetrics training.  Well, that may be pushing the reality of it a bit.  The obstetrics was not actually part of our first aid training, but, in later years when a professional association had been created, it was the topic of our first meeting.  We had an obstetrician, who outlined the process, the possible difficulties we might face, and the fact that a breech birth is not the end of the world.

He recounted a story that has been told by the author of the "Doctor in the House" books.  When he, the author, was taking his medical training, there was always one in every class.  That is, someone who everyone knew was simply there to get the doctorate, but would not be endangering anyone by actually practicing.  This would be someone from a wealthy, and possibly titled, family, and wanted to have a bit more to his name then simply the money and/or title.  Everybody knew the way the game was played, the faculty marked his exams somewhat languidly, and the rest of the class helped this person to study, as a means of doing their own studying.  Teaching someone else is always the best way to ensure that you know the subject.  As I say, everyone was well aware that this person would never practice, and would therefore never endanger anyone.

But there was one thing that everybody, all medical students, had to do on their own.  This was attending midwifery duty.  Everyone had to attend a birth, but, equally, everyone knew that the midwife would be there, and that generally nothing untoward would happen.

So, the day approached.  The others in his class asked this particular person if he wanted them to come along with him.  No, he said, this has been happening for thousands of years, perfectly natural, normal part of everyday life, and, in any case, the midwife would be there.  Okay, thought his fellows.

And on the specific evening in question, they again proposed that they attend with him.  No no, he said, perfectly natural, normal part of everyday life.  So off he went.  His colleagues waited by the phone, in case there was a panic stricken phone call.

There was no phone call, and eventually this person returned, took off his coat, and sat down to the card game that had been in process when he had been summoned.  "So, any problems?" his fellows asked?  No, no, he replied, perfectly natural, normal part of everyday life, been happening for thousands of years.  So, possibly the midwife took care of everything?  No no said this person, and it was a piece of cake.  The midwife didn't show up until everything was done and dusted.

So they shrugged, and got on with the card game.  The phone rang again, and this time they didn't even offer.  He left, and five minutes later there was a desperate phone call: "Come on you guys, I need you!"  The person who answered the call couldn't help getting a bit of his own back.  "I thought this was a perfectly natural, normal part of everyday life, and it's been happening for thousands of years."  "That's all very well," said the person on the phone, "but this bloody baby's coming out head first!"

Head first of course, is the normal position for childbirth.  It also means that the first baby had been a breech birth, and that this, the least well-trained of all his fellows in the class, had delivered a breech birth acceptably.

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