Review of "Be the Noodle" by Lois Kelly

"Be the Noodle" is supposed to be a guidebook, for caregivers providing end of life care for a dying relative.  There are fifty short essays in the book, roughly divided into three sections, the first and largest being a kind of introduction to caregiving and the beginnings of a caregiving journey, the second dealing with conflict and crisis, and the third being the end stages after the person has died.  Although supposedly in the form of a set of instructions, this is really more of a memoir of the death of the author's mother.  Which is fine, and real, and reasonably helpful in some ways.

There are a number of the essays that do address specific issues of being a caregiver.  However, particularly in the first section, most of the essays really should be addressed to friends, and extended family.  Most of this is about the outsiders' reaction, unreasonable demands, and unthinking attempts to address the situation, by those who are not really part of it.

The second section of the book does address more issues that caregivers will need to think and know about.  The final section of the book is, of course, after the mother had died, and, to a certain extent, is about grief.  This section is fairly lyrical, but not necessarily helpful in terms of either preparation or addressing grief after the death of a loved one.