Grief memes

I have been following grief accounts on social media, as part of research into, and collecting material for, bereavement counseling.  I have seen a number of, what might be called memes, small items, sometimes pithy sayings or epigraphs, sometimes material that might be a paragraph or two in length, sometimes accompanied by various forms of graphics, addressing the issue of grief.

Some of these items have resonated with me, personally.  Some of them have not resonated with me personally, but I have understood the point that they are trying to make, and therefore see their possible value for people who are grieving in a slightly different way than I am.  And some of them just seem purely silly.  At least to me.

Somebody has just sent me one such.  I am not sure whether this is supposed to be because I am bereaved, or because it is possibly a new year/old year/"you never know about life" type thing (and it's getting close to that time of year), but I found it rather silly and even annoying in places.  But I also know that someone sent it to me, and presumably thinks that it has some value, so I don't want to make too much fun of it.  But I will make a few observations about it.

It's one of those items that is distributed as a video file, even though there is only one image in the background, with a somewhat sentimental song playing as a soundtrack, and some text scrolling over the image laying out the idea.  The idea seems to be that life is like a train, and you get on the train, and you never know when other people are going to get on and off the train.

Okay, that's all very well.  You don't want to upset the other people on the train with you: I get that.  But the piece then goes on to say that you never know when you're going to get off the train.  Which, in terms of actual train travel, is absolute nonsense.  You bought a ticket.  To a specific destination.  There is a stop you are supposed to get off at.  And if you get caught on the train, beyond that station, without an additional ticket, there is going to be trouble.  This is not an unknown destination type of situation.  Trains don't work that way.

In addition, the people that you may meet on the train, while they may get on unexpectedly, at least to you, also have destinations, and stations at which they are going to get off.  This is not an unknown destination situation in the same way that grief is.  People just don't suddenly disappear off the train for no reason.  If you get into a conversation with somebody on the train, one of the first things that you ask people is where they are going!

However, as I say, I don't want to make too much fun of it, because what brings comfort to grieving people is inherently unknowable, in the same way that the meaning and intensity of loss and grief, or grief over a specific loss, is inherently unknowable for anyone outside of the actual mourner.  So, if "The Train" brings you comfort, then I am happy for you.

However, yesterday I came across this one.

Even though this demonstrates a fairly profound misinterpretation of quantum physics, and entanglement, yes, it can be a comforting thought in grief, and I'm glad that some find it so.