Wednesday, November 29, 2023

How long, oh Lord?

I was speaking with one of the ministers, today, and he, once again, raised the issue of me sticking with a single church.  This issue has been raised before, by other ministers, of other churches, sometimes even more directly.

Today, we discussed the issue somewhat, and the validity of that position with regard to an ordinary human social situation, noting also the fact that the church is not supposed to be an ordinary human social situation.

Afterward, on some fairly extended walking, I went over our conversation.  Several times.  I grew angrier thinking about it.  Until I realized that, in fact, I *had* tried to pick a church and settle into it.  I had picked one early on, and stayed there for a couple of months, coming very consistently.  With no particular results.  The people were friendly, yes, but I developed no particular support there.  I picked another church, and attended fairly regularly, not only the services, but also Bible studies and prayer meetings.  At the end of three months, the results were pretty much the same.  I chose another.  I attended prayer meetings, Bible studies, men's activities, and helped with the number of special events.  At the end of four months, I was actually being attacked for being depressed.  In fact, at the church whose minister I was talking to today, I had a period of more than three months, where I attended pretty consistently, attended prayer meetings, men's groups, and helped out in other ways, and at the end found that people were *avoiding* me because I was depressed.  (There's no point in my attendance where I'm actually disturbing people.)

So, in fact, I *have* stayed in one place, picked a church, attended regularly, and even more than regularly, and still have found no support in the churches of Port Alberni.  I mean, how long *should* it take?

I guess that's why I became angry, although it took me a while to realize it.

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