But I felt inadequate planning it, and writing the obituary and eulogy, and delivering the eulogy. As hard as I worked on it, my vocabulary and facility with words may be up to writing books, or preparing presentations, or teaching, but is not up to the requirements for celebrating Gloria's life, and telling everyone how wonderful she was.
Particularly since Gloria didn't get much credit during her life. Even from Gloria. She was "only" a secretary. She was "only" a wife and mother. But she was so very good in those roles. Despite not having formal education or degrees, she had a boundless curiosity and a keen intelligence. Once told something she would understand it, and could apply it, and use it to analyze other situations. As "just a secretary," she was always close to senior management, and had a complete grasp of business management principles. As "just a mother," she had un understanding of education that far exceeded most of the teachers with whom I have worked.
I must admit, I was inadequate because I should have practiced more while she was alive. Gloria would often ask me "why do you love me?" and my standard response was "because you're wonderful." If that wasn't enough, I would elaborate, that she was kind, that she was intelligent, that *I* thought she was beautiful (she said I was deluded), that she understood management, and education, and other things that I was teaching about or giving presentations on, that she had a sense of humour good enough to get my jokes (which is not easy), that she understood people in ways I never did, that she understood colour and art and fabric and embroidery and things I knew nothing about. I should have been more detailed and exploratory and creative in my answers, and the fact that I wasn't left me inadequate when I needed to explain the second most important thing in my life.
(At least I told her every single day that I loved her ...)
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