Sunset

Review of "Attending the Dying" by Megory Anderson

This is a short work, intended for chaplains, or other non-medical professionals attending the dying.  The material is brief, and there are many aspects of dying or grief that are not covered, or only touched on tangentially.  However, in its relatively few pages, the book does give significant guidance to those who are attending a death in a spiritual, or vigil capacity, and is probably helpful for those in the medical professions who are not spiritual workers, but are called upon to attend to a dying person.

Although this work is intended for chaplains, and other spiritual leaders, the bulk of the material is very practical, and is a very useful introduction and guide for those wanting some reference in terms of sitting vigil.

End-of-Life bibliography

This entry is primarily a reference for the Alberni Valley Hospice Society library, and will be added to, regularly, as I plow through it.  (Keep checking: I won't be making any specific note of additions.)

See also: Grief bibliography https://fibrecookery.blogspot.com/2022/12/grief-bibliography.html

See also the caregivers bibliography: https://fibrecookery.blogspot.com/2023/02/caregivers-bibliography.html

"A Pocket Full of Happiness" by Richard E. Grant

https://fibrecookery.blogspot.com/2023/11/not-quite-review-of-pocket-full-of.html

"Attending the Dying" by Megory Anderson https://fibrecookery.blogspot.com/2023/05/review-of-attending-dying-by-megory.html

"Searching for the Silver Linings" by Pamela Rosemary Adams https://fibrecookery.blogspot.com/2023/05/review-of-searching-for-silver-linings.html https://search.virl.bc.ca/iii/encore/record/C__Rb1025894__Ssearching%20for%20the%20Silver%20linings__Orightresult__U__X7

Review of "Searching for the Silver Linings" by Pamela Rosemary Adams

This is a small collection of poems, or possibly sayings, with a generally positive, uplifting, or comforting intent.  There is some indication of grief, and particularly the loss of parents, but for the most part it is rather generic.  It is a small, easily read, and possibly comforting text.

Review of "Finding the Words" by Colin Campbell

Campbell's work is very personal.  It is open and vulnerable, and is undoubtedly heartfelt.  It may however, not be terribly useful for all readers.

I'm not sure of the meaning of the title, Finding the Words.  On first reading (of the title, that is), one might assume that this is directed to those who are friends or relatives of the bereaved, and is intended to assist them in talking with, counseling, or supporting bereaved.  However, the structure of the book seems more directed at those who are bereaved, and are grieving.  In this regard, finding the words might relate to the suggestion, pretty much right off the top in chapter one, to do grief journaling.  Indeed, the action items at the end of each chapter include suggested topics for grief journaling, as an assist for those who may not know what to write about.

The material in the book is, as noted, very personal.  So personal, that those whose experience and style of grieving do not completely match Campbell's may not find the content particularly useful.  As noted elsewhere, I have never completely understood C. S. Lewis's opening to "A Grief Observed," that nobody ever told him that grief felt so much like fear.  Campbell does talk extensively about an experience of fear mixed in with grief.  His experience of grief does include this fear, and he talks about it in some detail.  For those whose grief doesn't include this component, I'm not sure how helpful this material would be.

In addition, Campbell talks about the Jewish customs of Shiva, and the communal response to supporting the grieving family in the first month, along with the let down when that support was subsequently reduced.  In my case, I had no support, and therefore no experience of the let down either.

Campbell recommends the creation and composition of grief spiels, for a variety of audiences.  In my case that would have been totally wasted, since my friends seem to be absolutely terrified that I might talk about Gloria, or death, or pain, and so insured that there was no opportunity to do so.

Campbell is a writer, and so his advocacy of writing, like Devine, whom he extensively quotes, is no surprise.  In addition to grief journaling, Campbell notes other writing projects which he undertook.

Campbell's work is very personal, as noted, and for those who experience grief in the same way, the extensive personal explorations will likely be comforting and helpful.  However, the work is neither researched or careful in regard to the range of grief experiences, and others, who have experienced grief in different ways, may find it less helpful.  However, even those who experience grief in different ways may find the suggested activities to spark ideas of how to pursue your own type of grief activity to be useful.

Grief topics: https://fibrecookery.blogspot.com/2025/06/grief-table-of-contents-and-resources.html

Review of "I Don't Know What to Say" by Robert Buckman

Care for the dying is a very complicated endeavor, and one with a great many components to it.  Buckman does a good job of providing a reasonably comprehensive overview of all of the different aspects that need to be considered.  He also provides good, and effective, guidance for the various aspects and factors.

Part one consists of three chapters on talking and listening, mostly on listening.  This is important and useful advice.  Listening is an important skill in all supportive endeavors, and is to seldom a skill that people actually have, even though 90% of us think that we're better than average at listening.  Part two covers a variety of issues, such as different attitudes towards dying, including the possibility of denial, the emotional impact of illness, grief in brief, and some interesting examination of the functions of religion and theology.  Part three has a very short checklist for offering help, but a very practical reminder of what should, and sometimes shouldn't, be done.  There is also an examination of individual and specific relationships, such as the loss of a parent, spouse, sibling, child, or the child's response to the death of a parent.

None of this material is news, and none of it is particularly surprising, but it is a very useful compendium of appropriate help and support in this difficult situation.

Review of "The Long Grief Journey" by Pamela D. Blair and Bradie McCabe Hansen

There is very little analysis or insight in this work.  It seems to be a compilation of generally acceptable, but very common and pedestrian, advice about grief.  Any time the material gets you into an area and asks if the reader is having difficulty with a certain topic, the suggestion is to see a counselor or therapist.  This is possibly good advice, but not particularly helpful in a book.

In addition, the title, and the introduction, indicate that they are primarily interested in prolonged grief.  While long time periods are mentioned, fairly often, none of the material seems to be specific to prolonged or long-term grief, as opposed to any other kind of grief.  The result is a fairly banal and commonplace collection of observations about grief, with no real pitfalls, but with no particular value either.

A great many processes, exercises, or rituals are suggested in the body of the text.  Unfortunately, most of these exercises or rituals have little to do with the problems that they are supposed to address.  They may be of significance, to the authors, as rituals that they enjoy, but, in terms of addressing the specific problems in the chapter in which they are placed, they have no real purpose.  (A lot of the rituals are fairly newage-y.  The candle manufacturers should probably pay Blair and Hansen a marketing fee.)