Sermon 60 - Ella, I'm going to get you!
1 Timothy 1:5
The goal of this command is love, which comes from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith.
1 Corinthians 12:18,19
But in fact God has placed the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. If they were all one part, where would the body be?
So there are two little girls, waiting around, sometimes running around, before the church service. The older girl is possibly six years old. The younger girl is possibly three years old. And, at one point, the older girl turns and calls to the younger girl, "Ella, I'm going to get you!"
And the game is on. The game is chase. It may seem that there aren't any particular rules to this game. You probably think that I'm kidding. You probably think that there isn't any such game and that I may simply be referring to Tag or Blind Man's Bluff or that there aren't any rules at all to this. If so you haven't been spending enough time observing children and you probably should. There is an objective to this game.
One person chases the other person. The intent of the game just seems to be to run around. The intent doesn't seem to be to actually catch the other person, since, if you did, what would you do? The game would be over.
So the older girl, the one who has instigated the game, makes some interesting choices. Even though the older girl is the chaser, and the younger girl is the chased. The younger girl, at about three years old, does not understand the strategy, or even the tactics, of the game. Possibly simply to indicate her willingness to participate in the game, initially she runs toward, rather than away from, the older girl.
The older girl, more familiar with the strategy and the tactics of the game, but also understanding more of the dynamics of the game, understands that, if she takes advantage of this mistake, and catches the younger girl, the game is, effectively, over. So the older girl, rather neatly, and without apparently seeming to avoid the younger girl, sidesteps, and allows the younger girl to run past. Which the younger girl does. The chase is then on. The game is on. And the older girl chases the younger girl, and they both have a wonderful time.
I am certain that Gloria would have been able to provide some insights into what is going on. I am certain that, had I pointed this out to her, she would have been able to make a profound observation about the dynamics of what is going on. Gloria had a wonderfully intuitive grasp and understanding of the behavior of young children. It's too bad that I can't access that insight. It probably would have made this sermon much more interesting, and likely much more valuable.
My thought is much simpler. At what point is it that we lose this ability to enjoy the game, and, instead, we decide that it is important to win? At what point do we, in the person of the older girl, as we age, decide to take advantage of the error of, and lack of understanding of, the younger girl, and simply catch her. This means that we win, but it also means that the game is over. Once again, at what point, in our supposed development and maturation, do we lose the ability to enjoy the game as a game, and, instead, decide that it is more important to win, than to enjoy?
Part of this question is general. For decades, psychologists have tried to figure out whether humans are cooperative or competitive. It is also part of the nature/nurture debate: are we naturally cooperative, and society teaches us to compete and fight with each other, or are we naturally combative, and society acts as a restraining force to keep us from killing each other? And the question is older than that, as well. Philosophers have been arguing about the ultimate nature of man for millennia.
A week or so ago, I wrote a sermon about corn. One of the points that I made in the corn sermon, was about the importance of intercropping. And discussing this with a friend, the friend immediately went to the importance, in the church, of cooperating with each other. This follows the idea that Paul expresses to us, in discussing the gifts of the spirit, that we have different gifts, but they are given by the same spirit. They need to be used together, in the same way that different types of cells, and tissue, in the human body, need to work together, and that it is, in fact, the differences in the different types of tissue, that contributes to the strength, and the functionality, of the human body. If the entire body were an eye, for example, how would the eye walk around?
Of course, the answer is that the eye would not walk around. The eye would be dead, because it didn't have any blood supplied from the heart, and the blood would not be oxygenated because there were no lungs, and the blood would not carry any nutrients because there was no stomach and intestine.
But that's probably another sermon, prepared by somebody who knows more about spiritual gifts than I do. However, the point that my friend was making is well taken. Why is it that we, in the church, knowing, and having being told that we need to cooperate with each other, fail to do so? Why is it that we seem to think that we need to compete, particularly in the "holier than thou" competition? Why is it that we all need to be spiritual leaders? That we need to be the ones who have more spiritual wisdom than our fellow Christians?
And, of course, why is it that we need to be so holy, and so spiritual, and so knowledgeable about arcane and mystical spiritual issues about how many angels can dance on the head of a pin, when none of that seems to require that we actually do things that God has asked us to do?
God has asked that we love Him. Why is that so hard for us to do? Why is it that our days, and weeks, and years, are taken up with getting a better job, getting a better house, getting a bigger boat, and not getting to know God? God has asked us to help our neighbors. To love our neighbors. Why is it that our time in church is taken up with exploring arcane interpretations of minor passages in Revelations, rather than going to the poor, and widowed, and orphaned, and making sure that their needs (not desires, but needs) are being fulfilled? God told us to take the good news to all peoples. Why is it that our time is spent planning, and budgeting, and hiring, and formulating programs for the church, rather than actually going and telling people the good news? (Is it possibly because we don't actually have any good news to tell them?)
When do we stop seeing other people as relationships to be explored and enjoyed, which is a kind of play in itself? When do we see others, everyone else, as competition?
I miss being able to explore these questions with Gloria. I miss being able to ask Gloria for her insights into these types of questions. Possibly she wouldn't have had any final answer for these questions but she would have had an insight, I'm quite sure of it.
I never had children so I deferred to Gloria in regard to how we related to our grandchildren. Gloria modelled a pretty much unconditional love for the grandchildren. We told the grandchildren that we loved them. At every possible opportunity. We hugged the grandchildren at every possible opportunity, every time they would hold still for it.
I remember that one grandchild (too early from our perspective), started to understand, from the socializations that he was receiving, that big boys didn't hug. He stopped hugging us, or at least was resistant to the idea. Another, noting that Gloria was upset by this, made her a promise, at an equally early age, that he would never stop hugging his Grama. He kept that promise to the end of Gloria's life.
As I say, when is it that children learn, from their elders or from society, that others are not relationships to be played with but competition where they need to win, and therefore the other needs to lose?
The why of it is really fairly easy.
As Paul points out in Romans, the wisdom of God is foolishness to man. Man, society, and people in general find unconditional love with others; others who are to be played with; foolishness.
Our society sees that the world is a dangerous place. One always needs to strive in the world. Therefore it is important to be as good as possible at winning in any kind of situation since so many situations are dangerous and require you to come out on top: to win if you are to survive. Winning is, to the world, the only measure of success because if you don't win you die. This extends to everything and everyone. Yes it is obvious that the world sees everything other than ourselves as competition and a competition which must be won at every encounter.
Which is really interesting when we get back to the idea of the body and all the different parts of the body needing each other in order to survive. The individual parts of the body cannot survive apart from each other. And, in fact, if you start taking away the individual parts of the body, probably the body itself does not survive. As a whole.
But God, of course, sees every other as a relationship. Every relationship is an opportunity to love. Every relationship is an opportunity to play and to extend that play as long as possible in order to explore the relationship as fully as possible.
That is our model for relationship. How is it that we lose it so early?
(See also: Sermon 80 - Babies
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