I'm tired today. I don't know why I'm tired. I have had a house guest for the past few days, but, by and large, that was undemanding. I have no idea why I should be tired.
I haven't been working more than usual, and I haven't been walking more than usual. Both are pretty much on par. In fact, I have been taking it slightly easier, since I've basically given up on the churches. I haven't been as frantic the going around to prayer meetings and Bible studies as in the past few months.
In terms of concentration, I have had a great difficulty in getting through my prayer list today. Again, I don't know why I should lack concentration. I don't know that there's any reason why my cognitive faculties should be any more deranged than usual. I've had some relatively interesting discussions with my guest, on topics that are, generally, more interesting than the normal fare around Port Alberni. So, I should not be bored, more than usual, or otherwise having difficulty with thinking.
As I was, numerous times, trying to restart my prayers, and figure out where I had been, I did note that it's possible that my cognitive behavioral therapy, of praying for others rather than thinking about my own sorry state, may be failing. It may be, that, having been attacked once too many times by congregants of the churches of the Alberni Valley, I am somewhat unforgiving, since it is these people that I am praying for. And, after all, why should I pray for people who have been cruel to me? That is putting it in its starkest terms, and, of course, is completely contrary to the basic idea behind the cognitive behavioral therapy, and, indeed, intercessory prayer, which is to pray for those who despitefully use you. Possibly it's just a lack of, or need for, spiritual discipline. Maybe I'm being attacked by the devil. It's hard to tell.
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