Preaching to the choir

I have been following what I tend to mentally refer to as grief accounts on social media.  These are accounts by grievers, mourners, and the bereaved, presumably, by and large, for the same.  I don't tend to reply very much to these postings, or to interact with the authors of said accounts, but there is some sharing of our sorrows, and hurts, and shared experiences.

And, occasionally, somebody can't help themselves and we have to have someone address a posting to our friends and comforters, as to what they're doing wrong.  Now, these postings are, by and large, pretty useless.  It's only us, the bereaved, who are reading these accounts.  Who are following the postings and sharing, and reading, the experiences, which only we seem to understand.  Non grievers don't follow these accounts.  By and large, they wouldn't understand even if they did follow.  So, anything that's addressed to non grievers, in these accounts, is a waste of breath.  (Or typing.)

I understand the motivation.  I really do.  I understand the frustration at the fact that nobody seems to understand what we go through, or talk about. I understand that everybody we try to talk to about grief seems to assume that we have lost our brain cells along with our wife, father, daughter, or dog.  Everyone seems to think that we are desperately in need of advice, and not just any advice, but the most outright cliches that anyone can come up with.  And, yes, I do wish that somebody would tell these people that what they are doing in terms of comforting us is not only not helping but, in fact, creating discomfort and adding to our misery.  Its no wonder that we are angry all the time: its not just because of the loss.  Its because you people are all idiots.

But, I also know that you don't read the grief accounts, and therefore never see those postings, that you so desperately need to read.  So, those particular postings are pretty much useless.  Understandable, but useless.