MGG - 6.21 - Gloria - handy

I am not, and never have been, a handyman.  I am not very guy-like in this regard.  I used to change the oil, and the oil filter, and the air filter in my own car.  I don't even do that anymore.

I was always somewhat stressed when Gloria asked me to undertake handyman tasks, even if it was as simple as changing a light bulb.  My handyman skills are very much in line with the old computer joke: How many programmers does it take to change a lightbulb? Answer: None. That's a hardware problem.

I don't do hardware.

There was, at one time, a hardware task which it really made no sense to ask someone else to deal with.  One particular toilet seat that we had would loosen its bolts on a regular basis.  Once the bolts had been loosened, the toilet seat was unstable, and would shift from side to side if you shifted your weight on it.  Gloria was quite uncomfortable feeling the instability of the seat, and, when the bolts had loosened to this extent, would alert me to the fact that I had to go and tighten the bolts again.

This was not quite as simple as taking a screwdriver to the bolts.  The bolts were plastic.  They were also held tight, underneath, with plastic washers.  This meant that, in addition to the screwdriver on top, I had to grab the washers, usually with a pair of pliers, underneath.  And, the fact that the bolts were plastic, meant that the slot, for the screwdriver, in the top of the bolts, was very large.

So, I complained to Gloria that I needed a larger screwdriver than the ones we had.  Gloria did listen to this complaint.  One Christmas, she bought me the largest screwdriver she was able to find.  It wasn't actually all that large, but it was larger than the screwdrivers that we had, and so was more suitable to the task at hand.  That Christmas, having Christmas with the entire family, I opened the package from Gloria, and realized what it was, and what it was for, and what a good joke that was.  I was delighted, and was effusive in my praise and affirmation of my appreciation, for this gift.

As I said, the whole family was there for this particular Christmas.  Including Gloria's brother Larry.  Larry was the boy in the family.  As previously noted, boys got to do hardware, and fixing things, with Dad.  Girls did not.  So, Larry grew up being taught how to fix things.  He took to these lessons avidly.  In fact, Larry became very skilled in this regard.  He became a cabinet maker, on an amateur, but very skilled, basis.  He was the kind of guy who bought his tools at Lee Valley.  (If you don't know what buying your tools at Lee Valley means, you are not a skilled craftsman.)

So, Larry, seeing that I was unwrapping a very ordinary screwdriver, and seeing that I was so appreciative of this gift, was somewhat bewildered.  So, he asked, "What's that?"

I, still delighted at the aptness of Gloria's joke, and even more delighted to be able to deliver this line, replied, "It's a screwdriver!"

Larry was very annoyed.

Previous: https://fibrecookery.blogspot.com/2025/02/mgg-620-gloria-acting.html

Introduction and ToC: https://fibrecookery.blogspot.com/2023/10/mgg-introduction.html

Next: TBA

Job 3:26

I have no peace, no quietness; I have no rest, but only turmoil.

Sermon 59 - Corn

Sermon 59 - Corn

John 13:34-35

A new command I give you: Love one another.  As I have loved you, so you must love one another.  By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.

When I was teaching the Sunday school class to garden, a lot of them wanted to plant corn.  This is unsurprising.  An awful lot of people prefer prefer corn to pretty much any other vegetable.  Corn is sweet and tasty, and it's not bad in the nutritional department, either.

Among the First People's of North America who practiced agriculture, there was frequently the cultivation of "the three sisters."  I have heard at least two versions of what the three sisters were.  In the one case, the three sisters were corn, tomatoes, and squash.  In another version, the three sisters were corn, tomatoes, and beans.

I'm not a real huge fan of squash, so I prefer the version of corn, tomatoes, and beans.  That version also fits better in trying to explain the benefits of the three sisters.

A version of the three sisters has now come to be known as intercropping.  This is the growing of multiple species of plants, each of which supports the growing of the other crops.  In the case of corn, tomatoes, and squash, corn provides stalks, which tomato plants can either twine around, or be tied to, in order for the tomato plants to grow tall, and access more sunlight.  Some varieties of squash are twining plants, and so, as long as the squash gourds are not too heavy, the squash could be used to tie the tomato plants to the corn stalks.

But, as I say, I prefer the corn, tomatoes, and beans variety.  Corn still acts as a stalk for the other vegetables.  Most varieties of beans are twining plants, and so can be used to tie or twine the tomato plants to the corn stalks.  But there are a couple of other benefits to having beans as a part of the three sisters.

First of all, there is succotash.  There are many recipes for succotash, but, basically, at the heart of all of them, is a mixture of beans and corn.  Interestingly, eating beans and corn in combination seems to perform some kind of digestive alchemy, and seems to provide more nutritional value then simply eating the two vegetables separately.  So, growing corn and beans together would naturally lead to *eating* corn and beans together, which would provide a dietary and nutritional benefit.

There is an additional benefit.  Corn takes a lot of nutrients out of the soil.  In particular, it takes up a lot of the nitrogen compounds in the soil, and thus, over time, will deplete the nitrogen content of the soil.  This has a negative effect on the ability of plants to produce proteins, either for their own use and growth, or in terms of the nutritional value of the food they produce.  As I say, corn depletes nitrogen from the soil.  Corn has a rather high protein content, and is very nutritious, and it may be this requirement to produce proteins that is the reason that corn leeches so much nitrogen out of the soil.  Beans also provide a great deal of nutrition in the way of protein.  However, beans have another trick up their sleeve.  Beans get along very well with various forms of mycorrhizal fungi in the soil.  Beans do not delete nitrogen from the soil.  As a matter of fact, beans actually improve the soil, and it's nitrogen content.  Therefore while the corn provides stalks for the beans to twine around and grow up on, the beans provide nitrogen in the soil for the corn to use.  Beans are a good way to revitalize most areas of soil, even if the soil nutrients have been depleted over the years.  I have, elsewhere  , talked about the providence of broad beans.  Broad beans can, in fact, be grown over the winter, as long as there is not too much freezing cold weather.  You might not get a terrific crop out of winter grown broad beans, but growing broad beans in depleted soil will help to revitalize the soil, even over the winter.

So it may surprise you to learn that I am not going to say that corn is one of God's gifts to man, and proves God's providence for us.  Actually, God did not create corn.  Man did.  The indigenous people of the southwestern United States, and much of Mexico, took a grain called teosinte, and, over many generations of breeding, developed something that we would recognize, even today, as corn.

There are, now, probably hundreds of varieties of corn.  Most of those varieties would be known as maize, or feed corn.  A lot of this corn is either fed to animals, or is ground into some kind of meal, and you most likely encounter it, if at all, as toasted corn.  One other variety of this type of corn that you might encounter regularly is, in fact, popcorn.  Yes, popcorn is actually a variety of corn.  Sometimes you can actually buy it on the cob, and, if you are really careful, you can actually get it to pop on the cob.  The kind of corn that you would recognize as corn on the cob, or kernel corn, or creamed corn, is a small subset of varieties known as sweet corn.  These, as the name implies, have a higher sugar content, and are harvested earlier than feed corn stalks, before they have had a chance to dry out.

Having noted that God didn't create corn, I should also note that God seems to be better at this than we are.  For one thing, God created things like broad beans that fortify the soil, rather than deplete it.  Also, corn, by itself, has to be prepared properly in order to be nutritious.  If you don't do it properly, you risk getting pelagra.  You can eat broad beans any way you like.

You may be surprised that I say that corn was developed in the Americas, and was completely unknown in Europe until the voyages of exploration across the Atlantic Ocean.  Those of you who are better versed in reading your Bibles may remember that there is mention of corn in the Bible.  Yes, it is true, that word is used, but it doesn't refer to what we now know as corn.  It is another type of grain; probably barley.

But back to the Sunday school class.  As noted, a lot of the kids wanted to plant corn.  Corn will grow, here, but, since it was developed in a much warmer and sunnier climate, not all varieties of it will grow here, and even the ones that do grow here have a harder time of it.  Growing corn here, in this climate, is always a bit chancy.  You have to start the corn pretty early, and there's always the chance that, if you do so, there's going to be a bit of a frost just as the first shoots start to come out of the ground.  You probably have to start the corn as sprouts, and then transplant them, and then transplant them, once again, once you're pretty sure that there is no chance of frost from that point on.  And you have to hope that it's going to be a particularly hot and sunny summer, in order to get the corn to grow.

But I didn't go into all of this with the Sunday school class.  What I *did* tell them was that, when you are planting corn, you go grow the corn quite differently from a number of the other crops that you plant.  If you are planting carrots, or radishes, or beans, or lettuce you are planting rows of the crop that you are planting.  You can make the rows as long as you want.  You can plant a row of radishes, and then a row of carrots, and then a row of lettuce, and then a row of beans, and then a row of whatever you want.  That's generally how people do gardens.  It makes it easier to know what, and where, things are growing.

But you can't do that with corn.  At least not if you are hoping to get a crop.  When you are planting carrots, what you hope to eat is the root.  When you are planting lettuce, what you hope to eat are the leaves.  When you are planting corn, what you hope to eat are the seeds.  So, in order to get any seeds at all, the seeds have to be fertilized.  And, generally speaking, they have to be fertilized by other corn plants.

So you don't plant corn in rows.  You plant corn in blocks.  You plant corn so that all the corn plants are clustered together.  That way, the different corn plants will fertilize each other, and then you'll get corn.  Edible corn.

You can grow corn plants by themselves.  As a matter of fact, corn makes a very nice office plant.  If you have a south-facing window, and lots of sunshine coming through it, corn plants will grow quite happily, and you will have a nice leafy plant, that actually does a fairly good job of keeping the air clean and reasonably well humidified.  It's a lovely plant, and it'll grow quite well, and, since you don't get frost in your office, you can start it early and have it grow for quite a long time.  You'll have a nice plant in your office.

What you won't have, is corn.  Unless you take great care to harvest the pollen, and fertilize the seed casings as they start to develop, the seeds won't get fertilized, and so they will never develop cobs of corn.  Nice office plant, yes: corn, no.

Which makes for a lovely Sunday school illustration.  Yes, you can grow a corn plant all by itself.  It's just not going to produce anything.  If you want it to produce anything, you have to put it together with other corn plants.  So here is an illustration of why we should be going to church on Sunday.  Here is an illustration of why the Bible says it is so important that we have fellowship with each other.  The first and greatest commandment is that we should love God.  But the second commandment is that we should love our neighbors.  Our fellow Christians.  We have to grow together.  If we try to grow, all on our own, just loving God, well, that may be okay.  But we are not going to be very productive.  We aren't going to grow, fully, as Christians.  If we are going to be productive, and if we are going to develop to the fullest extent that God wants us to develop, we have to be together with other Christians.  Fellowship isn't just a fun social thing.  It's also important for us.

Sermon - Garden series

Sermon 2 - Broad Beans

https://fibrecookery.blogspot.com/2023/01/sermon-2-broad-beans.html

Sermon 3 - Blackberries

https://fibrecookery.blogspot.com/2023/01/sermon-3-blackberries.html

Sermon 33 - Transplanting

https://fibrecookery.blogspot.com/2025/02/sermon-33-transplanting.html

Sermon 57 - Leaven

https://fibrecookery.blogspot.com/2025/02/sermon-57-leaven.html

https://fibrecookery.blogspot.com/2023/09/sermons.html

MGG - 6.20 - Gloria - acting

Gloria had no interest in doing acting.  Lots of her friends, who knew how well she sang, tried to get her into community musicals or light opera, but she wasn't interested in that either.  Her voice was a gift from God, and it was to be used in God's service.  She also had no interest in acting: she said, whenever the topic came up, that she had spent far too much time and trouble figuring out who she was, why should she try and pretend to be someone else?

She did, however, get *me* into acting.  (At least, into formal acting.  I'm a teacher, and teachers do a *lot* of informal acting.)  "Walk to Bethlehem" was a famous Christmas event on the North Shore, put on by West Vancouver Baptist Church.  The church had an interesting building, or set of buildings, which could be configured into multiple stages for multiple scenes.  Therefore, a multi-scene play was put together where the audience moved and the actors stayed put.  The actors only had to act in 1ten minute segments or playlets, and they did it multiple times per night.  The audience would, literally, walk to, and through, Bethlehem.  Seeing the different scenes, and then walking on to the next one.

I knew about Walk to Bethlehem, of course: everyone on the North Shore knew about Walk to Bethlehem.  Thousands of people saw it every year, and many people saw it regularly every year.  At one point they added an additional scene at the beginning.  The regulars in the production, of course, all had their favorite regular parts, so they were having a bit of trouble casting this new scene.  One of Gloria's friends suggested that I try out, and Gloria thought that it was a good idea as well.  So I tried out and got the part of Jonathan the Fuller.

This particular scene does not take place at Christmas time, but seven hundred years before.  This initial scene is the prophecy of the Messiah's birth by the prophet Isaiah.  This prophecy, according to scripture, takes place in a fuller's field, so then they wrote in the part of a fuller: Jonathan the Fuller.  That's me.

A fuller was a cleaner, a launderer.  A fuller would clean clothes.  Since oxydol had not been invented yet, certain other materials were used to clean clothes.  The scene itself, as laid out, had grass representing the fact that it was a field, and a child's wading pool representing a pond. (There should have been a stream, for rinsing, but that would have been entirely too difficult to create in a fixed set with the resources available.)

The character of Jonathan the Fuller is primarily there for comic relief.  Jonathan the Fuller is a self-important little guy, who is only concerned about his own business, and really isn't aware of, and doesn't understand, the significance of what is going on around him.  He thinks that the refugees, streaming into Jerusalem from a war, will make him rich, and he's quite happy about that, not paying any intention to the fact that Jerusalem, itself, is under threat.

Most of the action takes place on a gravel pathway that is laid out in the scene.  For the pathway, the set designers used pea gravel.  This decision was obviously made because pea gravel is easier to clean up, after the production, then regular gravel.  However, pea gravel is pretty treacherous stuff to walk on.  The first year that I did this part, I played a part that was played, by the other team of actors, by the author of the script.  Unfortunately, on the first night that he played the part, he slid on the pea gravel, fell, and put his back out.  (The first entrance of Jonathan the Fuller is of him rushing out of a shed at the back of the scene, and down the path.  It's a bit tricky, appearing to be rushing, but still placing your feet *very* carefully as you "rush.")  Therefore, I had to play all of the performances that year.  I played Jonathan the Fuller in front of 6,000 people that year.

Gloria was a hard worker, but she wasn’t just a worker.  At least, not in the strictly commercial sense.  Of probably greater importance to her was her work for the church, devoted to her God.  She taught Sunday school.  She was involved with junior choirs, and their musical plays.  She made costumes for those plays, as well, combining both her musical and seamstress talents.  Many of those costumes are still stored, used, and sometimes loaned out from this church.  Again, a number of those church activities were chosen because her girls were involved in them.  As her job responsibilities increased, and her health declined, church work necessarily declined as well, but she always maintained a keen interest in a number of congregations that she had helped over her lifetime.

Gloria helped in another way.  An awful lot of the costumes that were used in the production of Walk to Bethlehem, had, in fact, been created by Gloria.  They had been sewn up many years before, to support a variety of *other* Christmas plays in theatricals that the church had put on before it got into Walk to Bethlehem in a big way.  So, the costume that I wore, as Jonathan the Fuller, had, in fact, been sown by Gloria, originally intended as a shepherd.

I played Jonathan the Fuller for about a decade.  It was fun, and I looked forward to it as a Christmas event every year.  Eventually Walk to Bethlehem was just too big a production for the church to sustain every year.  It took away from the church being able to do much of anything else over the Christmas season.  Latterly it was reduced in scope, and, in one production that was put on with a number of scenes on the sanctuary platform, I played both the part of Jonathan the Fuller, and John The Innkeeper. During those years, nobody could have told you who Rob Slade was, but *everybody* in West Vancouver Baptist knew who Jonathan the Fuller was.

Previous: https://fibrecookery.blogspot.com/2025/02/mgg-619-gloria-health-2.html

Introduction and ToC: https://fibrecookery.blogspot.com/2023/10/mgg-introduction.html

Next: https://fibrecookery.blogspot.com/2025/03/mgg-621-gloria-handy.html

Sermon 33 - Transplanting

Sermon 33 - Transplanting

Matthew 13:3b-8

A farmer went out to sow his seed.  As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path, and the birds came and ate it up.  Some fell on rocky places, where it did not have much soil. It sprang up quickly, because the soil was shallow.  But when the sun came up, the plants were scorched, and they withered because they had no root.  Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up and choked the plants.  Still other seed fell on good soil, where it produced a crop—a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown.

I still don't know why I am gardening.  When I was moved to Delta, shortly after Gloria died, and I was gardening five different gardens, my baby brother asked why on Earth I was gardening, since Mom had made sure that we all hated gardening.  He was quite right.  As the eldest in the family, I bore the brunt of the bullwork necessary when Mom decided that any of her long-neglected gardens needed to be revived.  As the only one who had a job in town, I was also the one who had to do the weeding and other maintenance during the summer months.  So, yes, I hated gardening.  I had no interest in it.  I do not have a green thumb.  I do not even have a brown thumb, so much as a black thumb.  Between us, Gloria and I managed to kill every single living plant that anybody ever gave us.  So, I have no idea why I am gardening.

But, after Gloria died, I seemed to have a deep, and highly emotional, need to garden.  I don't know the why of that, either.  Maybe it is simply as facile as the fact that Gloria is dead, so I need to bring something to life.  It seems a stupid reason, but it's about the best that I can come up with.

I still don't know if that's the actual reason.

At any rate, I am gardening.  I am not, as mentioned, an experienced, or a good, gardener.  However, I did pay attention in biology and botany classes, and, as a scientist, I am a quick study.  So I am learning quite rapidly.  (Or, as rapidly as I can, when you only get one experiment per year.)

When I started gardening after Gloria died, I didn't realise you didn't grow things from seed.  I didn't realise that most people bought tomato, pepper, squash, sunflower, and cucumber plants as small plants, and then transplanted them.  Most people who are, actually, avid gardeners, do not grow tomatoes and peppers from seed.  Generally speaking, they will buy tomato and pepper plants.  These plants have been germinated from seed, but by somebody else.  And they have been put into little pots, all ready for you to plant the small plants into your garden.  But, of course, the potted plants are even more expensive than seeds are. 

I am also cheap.  I hate spending money if I don't have to.  So I am learning how to grow plants, and garden, spending the least amount of money that I possibly can.  And that includes trying to spend as little as possible on buying seeds.  I started growing things from seed.  I didn't have much luck.  I put a lot of seeds into the ground that just died.  Eventually I realised it was much more effective to sprout and germinate the seeds, and then transplant the seedlings.

Now one would think that seeds were the very *least* that you needed to buy.  However, if you pay attention, you will notice that there are a number of sources of seeds available to you for no money.  Or at least, for no extra money, beyond what you are already spending on food.

A lot of our foods are plants.  A lot of the plants contain seeds.  So, I am growing three types of tomatoes, and a bunch of bell peppers, in various colors, simply because I harvested and dried the seeds that were available in those plants when I bought them for food.

So, I harvested the seeds out of certain food plants, and I dried them out, and stored them, and, taking paper and plastic cups that I have cleaned up off the streets (I *told* you I was cheap), and dirt that I dug up out of the forest, and using plastic clamshell packaging from various baked goods as miniature greenhouses, I have germinated, sprouted, and transplanted a number of tomato and bell pepper plants.  I am also now on my third generation of sunflower plants, from a single initial packet of seeds.

All of this is very experimental, and a learning experience.  I have learned why most people buy their tomato plants as potted plants.  It's a rather tedious process to grow your own.  It's tedious to harvest and wash the seeds, and it's tedious to dry the seeds, and it's tedious to store (and label) the seeds, and it's tedious even to set up the mini greenhouse, and keep an eye on it, for when the plants germinate and sprout.  And then there is the transplanting process itself.  Starting from seeds, you may have to transplant tomato plants up to five different times.  Each time you will learn that God really doesn't care about efficiency.  Because each time, some of the plants die.

In the first place, not all of the seeds actually germinate and sprout.  Then, if they do sprout, you have to carefully take them off the medium that you have been using to keep them moist while they are germinating and sprouting.  If, for example, you use paper towel, the roots from the sprout often will have penetrated the paper towel.  So, even taking that initial sprout, and trying to put it into a small amount of dirt, to let it get started, means that, simply by pulling it off of, or through, the paper towel, you strip off the root hairs.

Of course the sprout is very tiny, particularly for a tomato seed.  So it's entirely possible that, simply by trying to pull the sprout off the paper towel, you will damage the stem, or the leaf, or the root.  And, of course, if you do that you kill the plant.  But, even if you are able not to do gross damage to the plant, pulling the root away from the paper towel may tear off the root hairs.  You probably don't even see the root hairs.  They are extremely tiny, and, of course, extremely delicate.  But they are also the actual active part of the root system.  It is actually the root hairs that start to bring in water and nutrients that the plant needs in order to grow.  The root hairs are also, in many cases, the beginnings of new side roots that the plant needs in order to develop an extensive root system, and to stabilize itself in the soil.  In either case, tearing off the root hairs is another likely way to kill the plant.  You have to be really, really careful when you are transplanting tiny new shoots.

Which brings me to church.  We have been given the great commission.  We are to go into all the world and preach the gospel.  We are to tell people the good news.  We are to transplant people from the natural world into God's world.

For some reason, we are not very good at this.  We find it embarrassing to go to people and tell them that they are sinners, and that they need a personal relationship with God.  We think it makes us look like religious fanatics.  Well, of course, we *should* be religious fanatics.  That is, in fact, where the word "fan" comes from; like a sports fan.  Shouldn't we be God's fans?  If we actually have good news, shouldn't we be telling people about it?  We have no problem telling people about our favorite hockey team, or restaurants, or TV show.  Shouldn't we be willing to tell people about the greatest thing in the universe?

But, okay.  I have dealt with that in a different sermon.  So we will leave outreach alone for a moment.  Will come back to that some other time.  (Even though we should be doing it all the time.)

Okay, let's do something a little easier.  There are people who have heard that we might have something good going on.  Just to skip back to the great commission for a second, someone has famously said that spreading the gospel, telling forth the good news, is not like televangelism.  It's more like one beggar telling another beggar where to find bread.  So, in some cases, somebody has already heard that we might have some kind of metaphorical bread.  Which they might think that they might need.  So they wander into our churches.

Now, that's a lot easier isn't it?  We don't have to go out and stand on soap boxes on street corners, and be seen as a religious fanatic.  The person who has come into our church already knows that we are religious fanatics, so we don't risk anything by acting like religious fanatics.

So here is somebody new in your church.  Now, of course, they may simply have wandered in out of the rain.  In Port Alberni, that is a non-trivial possibility.  Or, they may already be a religious fanatic, possibly even of our particular type.  They may just be looking for a church home; church shopping.

We still have a bit of a responsibility.  Whoever it is that wandered into our church, they don't necessarily know how we do things.  So, as embarrassing and uncomfortable as it may be for us, we may have to actually talk to somebody that we don't already know.

Yes yes, I know.  You don't like to do that.  You would much rather talk to your friends.  I can certainly understand that.  Unfortunately, God, in many, *many*, *MANY* places in the Bible, says that you have to welcome strangers.  So, you are going to have to talk to them.

Now, of course, you may luck out.  It may be that this person was just getting out of the rain, or, it may be that this person just simply wants to know how to join the church.  In either case, you can let them go back out into the rain, or you can turn them over to the church secretary, and your job is done.  You can go back to talking to your friends.

Unfortunately, sometimes this stranger may be that mythical vagrant wanting that mystical piece of bread.  No, I am not talking about an actual homeless person looking for something to eat.  I am talking about someone who has a need.  A need that God, and fellowship with the church, is going to provide for.

Now you're *really* in trouble.

Now you are faced with the stranger.  The foreigner.  Someone who doesn't know, or at least has only the most tenuous knowledge of, God and Christ.  And, moreover, someone who is probably in distress, in some kind of difficulty, very probably in some kind of pain.  Otherwise, why would they have come into the church in the first place?  It's not as if the church is known as a welcoming place.  Ninety-six percent of the population of Port Alberni knows, very well, that you stay away from any of the churches in Port Alberni.  After all, there is a reason why we don't advertise when we meet.  We don't want people wandering into our services.

The thing is, this presents us with a bit of a dilemma.  This is not simply a sin of *omission*, where we simply have not gone into the highways and the byways and told people the good news.  This is a situation where someone has already heard that we might, possibly, have some good news.  That there might be something here that they need.  And they, rather than we, have reached out.  They have come to us.  They are begging for that metaphorical bread.  And if we don't do anything, it is no longer a sin of omission.  It is now a sin of *commission*, if we turn someone in need away.

So we have to talk to them.

Actually, we probably don't need to talk to them.  Probably all we have to do is listen to them.  Now, yes, I know, once again.  Listening is *way* harder than talking.  After all, you can talk for hours, with no effort at all.  You can trot out Bible verses and cliches by the basketful.  You can ramble on, and *on*, and *ON*.  Feeding them stuff that they don't need.  Because you haven't listened to what it is that they actually *do* need.

So you need to listen.  Now, it's not as if you have to take on this person as a lifelong burden.  If you listen, if you truly listen, you may find that what they need is better addressed by someone else in the church.  If that is the case, then by all means, take the stranger and introduce them to that other person.  That more qualified person.  That more knowledgeable person.  That person who actually has gifts in pastoral care, when you don't.  Then you're off the hook, once again.

But, if not, if you can't think of someone else who has a better grasp on the Christian life than you do, who has more skills in addressing distressing personal issues than you do, then you have to keep on listening.  If something comes up that you actually do know the answer to, something that will, actually, address this person's pain and distress, in that one instance, then, certainly, mention it. But, of course, that still doesn't get you off the hook.

Because most people in difficulty have more than *one* difficulty.  You have to keep listening.  You have to listen and find out whether what you gave them did actually address one small part of their pain.  If it didn't, you're back to square zero.  And even if it did address that part of the difficulty, you have to keep listening and see what *other* sorts of distress to which that person is prey.  (And, people in distress are not necessarily accurately self-analytical.  So it's work.)

Now, it's possible that your various suggestions do address their distress.  If so, well and good.  But your job is not over yet.

To find out why, we have to go back to transplanting.  As I said, when you are growing something from seed, there are an awful lot of potential problems.  Jesus told us about them.  A sower went forth to sow.  Some seed fell in good soil and created a bountiful harvest.  But some seed got snapped away by distractions.  Some seed got carried away by feathered distractions.  But some seed actually sprang up.  It germinated.  It's sprouted.  It started to put out roots and shoots.

Unfortunately, it was not in particularly good soil.  It might have been in thin soil overlaying a rock.  It might have been in particularly rocky soil where there wasn't much soil in between the rocks.  It might have been in rocky soil where there was no moisture, and no water to promote its growth.  Growing plants need water.  Even if you're into hydroponics, light and water may be the only thing that they need, but they *definitely* need water.  All growing plants need some water.  More or less.

So that's where our stranger, who, if you are lucky, and you have been diligent, may be.  They are a new Christian.  They are starting to grow.  They are reaching out for the Water of Life.

You have to make sure they get it.

If they don't get water, believe me, they are going to die.  Sometimes it is possible, if they are only *mostly* dead, but not *completely* dead, to give them extra water and bring them back to life.  But, for the most part, you have to keep an eye on them.  You have to water them everyday.  Okay, possibly not every single day, but definitely regularly.  And definitely more than once a week.

You have transplanted them.  From their old life.  Into the new life.  But they have been transplanted.  They do not have a root system.  They haven't been stabilized in whatever soil they are growing in.  And the soil may not be perfect.  Once again, there may be multiple difficulties.  And you have to make sure that those difficulties do not prevent them from getting the water, and the growth, that they need.  If they die, from lack of water, and they completely die, there is no bringing them back.  They are mulch.  They are compost.  The fact that they have died, and their decomposition, may warn others of the need to turn to the new life.  But, of course, if this new Christian has been telling other people that the church, your church, has been helping them, and then you let them die, the warning will be, don't go to that church.

We in the Christian life, and the church, too often plant seeds ... and then we don't care.  If they fall on stony ground, or among weeds, or don't have enough soil, it's not our problem.  We need to do more transplanting.  Are people not worth more than the grass of the field that is here today and thrown on the fire tomorrow?

Matthew 13:9

Whoever has ears, let them hear.

Sermon - Garden series

Sermon 2 - Broad Beans

https://fibrecookery.blogspot.com/2023/01/sermon-2-broad-beans.html

Sermon 3 - Blackberries

https://fibrecookery.blogspot.com/2023/01/sermon-3-blackberries.html

Sermon 57 - Leaven

https://fibrecookery.blogspot.com/2025/02/sermon-57-leaven.html

https://fibrecookery.blogspot.com/2023/09/sermons.html

Review of "What's So Bad About Feeling Good?"

I don't know if I saw "What's So Bad About Feeling Good?" when it was relatively new, but I probably did.  I remember it as being in black and white, so I probably saw it on TV, on a black and white set.

It's not exactly a classic.  Just the fact that it was played on TV, all those years ago, likely proves that.  It's got some heavy-handed, and forgettable, slapstick.  It's got a few really good lines, but most of the dialogue is predictable and common.

But, watching it again, now, I can't help but feel that it still has something to say to a day when a lot of people feel that the world is going to hell in a handbasket, that the authorities are lying to you at every turn, that isolation is the only companionship, that the only way to save the world is to destroy it, that the world is therefore destroying itself, and so what's to worry, right?  (Sorry: that's one of the good lines from the movie.)

Get some grapes and watch it.  Preferably with a feathered friend.  (Maybe beware of bird flu, though ...)

Oneshotted

Recently I was made aware of a new term doing the rounds in the online world.  The term is oneshotted, or oneshotting.

This is a term that has come to us from the world of computer gaming, and particularly the first-person-shooter variety of games.  Shooting someone, be it another competing player, or a non-player entity that one still must kill or destroy, is sometimes more complicated than it is in real life.  Of course, in real life, one does have to make sure that the shot, or shots, hits something vital, like the brain or heart, or a major organ, or a major blood vessel.  Or that you shoot a sufficient number of times to hit something crucial.  But in the gaming world, you are not always shooting with a firearm, and sometimes the gun, or sword, or wand, or poison spell, has a certain strength rating, and that has to be compared against the strength rating of whoever, or whatever, you are trying to kill.  (Or destroy.)

So, it is a matter of some skill, in terms of aiming, and some knowledge of the parameters of the game, in order to kill, or destroy, something with a single shot.  One shot.  So, if you "one shot" someone, you are a skillful player in the game.

Then, there is the other side.  If someone kills you, with one shot, you have been careless, or possibly unlucky.  Or, possibly, you are a newbie.  And you have been oneshotted.

This term has moved out of the realm of shoot-em-up games.  It has now spread into social media.  And, generally speaking, it refers to some, usually sudden, event in your life, which changes your life forever.

As one of the bereaved, I definitely, and immediately, understood this concept.  I've even talked about it, elsewhere, as a sort of grieving quantum life.

I should say that, in general online parlance, "oneshotted," or "oneshopping," is generally a negative term.  Something has happened to you, and it makes it difficult for you to go on with your life as it was before.  Sometimes it is impossible to go on with your life as it was before.

Once again, in terms of grief, I definitely understand this concept.  Your person has died.  The world is no longer the same.  The person that you talked to, went to, discussed things with, could expect support from in any situation, has died.  The world is not the same.  Some of the battles that you face, sometimes on a daily basis, may be the same.  But you no longer have the resources to face them.

I definitely understand that.

But, as with any experience of grief, people react to the loss differently.

Yes, for some people, the loss is a loss, and it is a fatal loss.  If someone else doesn't pick up the slack; if you can't find a support resource, and quickly; well, you just can't survive.  That's what it feels like, and, in all too many cases, that's what it is.  Your life is, actually, over.

But people do react differently.  And, of course, not all losses are equal.  I lost my wife.  I lost my best friend.  Since I was also her caregiver, I lost my job.  I lost any semblance of schedule in my days, weeks, and months.  I lost the person that I most wanted to talk to in any situation.  The person that I had to discuss things with: whether they were movies, hockey games, or newscasts.  I lost all that.

But, of course, different grief is different, because different relationships are different.  When Gloria's mother died, Gloria had grief bursts for ten years thereafter, and even longer.  When Gloria's father died, she grieved, but not with the same intensity.  In the case of my parents, I didn't grieve that much for either of them, because our relationship simply had never been very close.  Not when I was a child, certainly not when I was a teenager, and not when I became an adult and started my career, and then married.  My parents and I were never particularly close, and so, while I did grieve over them, it wasn't earth-shattering.

When my father died, my mother didn't grieve all that much.  It didn't make that much of a change in what she did.  Different marriages are different.  The relationships are different.  Gloria and I had to make contact with each other pretty much constantly.  We had to talk, at great length, about whatever we learned, or encountered.  I have seen many many other marriages where this is not the case.  Where the couple live together, but have different interests.  They sleep together, they eat together, they raise children together.  But that togetherness isn't particularly close.  One has one set of interests and activities, and the other has a different set, and very few of those sets intersect.  So, when the one dies, the other will probably grieve, yes, but not extensively. And it doesn't completely change their life.  They haven't been oneshotted.

But others have.  Their life is completely changed.  *My* life is completely changed.  I am no longer writing books.  I am no longer teaching, at least not in any traditional sense.  I am not taking care of Gloria.  I am writing sermons, which I never did before.  I have started an intensive, and in-depth research into grief itself.  I am experimenting with providing three different, and fairly unique, styles of great support.  I am doing a great deal of volunteer work, with a great many organizations.  Yes, I have done volunteer work pretty much all of my life.  But I didn't have as much time for it while Gloria and I were married, and even before we were married I wasn't doing as much as I am doing now.

So my life is different. When Gloria died, one of my colleagues informed me that now I had the opportunity to reinvent myself.  My response was that I would pass on the opportunity.  But that ship had sailed, and, yes, I did know what he was talking about.  I am still trying to reinvent myself.  As far as I'm concerned it's not working out very well.  But I'm trying.  I've been oneshotted.  My life is over.  I am trying to, not rebuild or reinvent my life, but to build a completely new one.  So far, I don't like it.