Friday, January 17, 2025

MGG - 6.08 - Gloria - enjoyment

Even in her last days, in hospital, Gloria saw the humour in the fact that my niece, in the southern hemisphere, knew as much or more about Gloria's situation than my baby brother did, since she (the niece) had access to her father's email.

But it wasn't just comedy movies that Gloria enjoyed.  She enjoyed all forms of entertainment.  She enjoyed opera, a taste which I have tried, in vain, to appreciate.  Of our list of "Jesus" movies, her favorite was "Jesus Christ Superstar," which, as you will know, is a rock opera.  She enjoyed the ballet, a taste which I also have tried, but failed, to fully appreciate.  But we went to the ballet a couple of times to productions of "The Nutcracker," at Christmas time (which was double enjoyment for Gloria), and on at least one other occasion, in a more traditional form.  Oh, and I should also mention "The Overcoat," which was produced as a ballet, and which I did, somewhat, enjoy, as I had read the story before we went to see it, and was interested in how they were going to produce it on stage.  But I probably didn't enjoy it as much as Gloria did.

On one occasion, a company that I was doing some work for, treated those of us who were providing it with content, to dinner at a Japanese restaurant.  This was not a sushi restaurant, but rather one of those restaurants with a grill, and Japanese chefs, who put on a bit of a performance in terms of their cooking.  (I should mention that in this particular restaurant, the guests were seated around the outside of two grills, with a group of about eight on each side of the complete section, with one chef serving each group of eight.)  Gloria was, of course, delighted by the artistry and skill of the chef.   Gloria laughed, and clapped, at each demonstration of skill by our chef.  He, of course, started hamming it up, in reaction to her response.  And as his artistry and demonstrations of skill reached new heights, Gloria laughed, and clapped, and commented, all the more.  Gloria egged on the chef, and he responded.  People on the other side of the table got dinner.  We got a full production.  Completely due to the fact that Gloria was always willing to show, and demonstrate, when she was enjoying something.  She enjoyed babies, she enjoyed singing, she enjoyed all kinds of things.

We went to an art gallery one time, and Gloria enjoyed it thoroughly.  It's one thing to see pictures of art.  It's another thing to see the painting, on the wall, with the dabs and swirls of paint, and the peaks where the artist took the brush, or the palette knife, away after a particular stroke.  It's also, rather interestingly, more apparent, with a real painting, rather than simply an illustration, where are the painter intended light to actually shine off the image.  And Gloria delighted in finding that.

And, as I say, Gloria was the best copy editor I ever knew.  She found an error in the labeling of the paintings that were hanging on the wall.  This art exhibition was, in fact, at an auction house, in preparation for an auction, and so there were catalogues of the auction.  We had thought about buying one, but decided that we couldn't afford the $50 for that catalogue.  However, when we went to a representative of the gallery, and pointed out the error on the wall, and the gallery people had rectified the error, the representative allowed as how that would have been a potentially embarrassing error, and how could they thank us?  So, rather unusually bold for once, Gloria asked if their thanks would extend to a copy of the catalogue.  It would, and did, and they gave us one.  And, in the drastic downsizing of my library, where $120,000 worth of books went elsewhere, that catalog survived the downsizing. And I still have it.

Previous: https://fibrecookery.blogspot.com/2025/01/mgg-607-gloria-who-are-you-again.html

Introduction and ToC: https://fibrecookery.blogspot.com/2023/10/mgg-introduction.html

Next: TBA

Thursday, January 16, 2025

Sermon 53 - Adultery

Sermon 53 - Adultery

Matthew 5:32 But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, makes her the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.


Okay, this sermon is going to be wrong, in oh, *so* many ways.  First of all, I am going to talk about sex.  I am not just going to talk about the fact that there are two genders, in our species: I am going to talk about sexual activity: making love.  You would rather that I not talk about sex.  In fact, about the only thing that you dislike *more* than me talking about sex, would be me talking about death.  So, consider yourself lucky that I'm only talking about sex.

Because I *could* talk about death.

I am an adulterer.  Matthew chapter five, verse thirty-two says that I am an adulterer.  Now, I have only made love to one woman in the entire world.  I have only made to love to one woman in my entire life.  And I married her.  So how is it that I committed adultery?

Well, Gloria was married before *we*, she and I, got married.  She was married to someone else.  I mean, come on: she had kids!  So she was married before.  And, to make things worse, her husband was actually still alive when we got married.

Now, she was legally divorced from her first husband.  As a matter of fact, my little brother is always eager to justify me, with the fact that it was a "Pauline divorce."  Paul laid out a situation under which marrying a divorced woman was not a sin.  He said that if her first husband, committed adultery first, then she was justified in getting a divorce.  That was the case with Gloria's divorce.

But, as smart as Paul was, and as logically as he made his arguments, and as great as I think he was, and as terrific as it is that we have a whole bunch of letters from him, clarifying a lot of situations, I think Jesus is even better.  And Jesus just said that if you married a divorced woman, you committed adultery.

So, I am an adulterer.

Now, you may think that I'm being a little hard on myself.  But no, I don't think that I am.  I could try and justify myself.  I could say that I intended to stick with Gloria until she died.  And, in fact, I did so!  I could say that Gloria was lonely, and had a hard time of it, and that, by marrying her, I was, in fact, expressing love, because I made her life better.  And Gloria herself made that case!

But the fact is, Gloria was divorced.  And so, simply by marrying her, I committed adultery.  And as many arguments as I can make saying that I made Gloria's life better by marrying her (and that is not necessarily, by any means, an absolutely unalloyed gift) my motives in marrying her we're not all together pure.  I didn't want to marry Gloria, and make her life better, and never, physically, touch her.  (To be honest, I don't think Gloria would have liked that either.)  I wanted to make love to Gloria.  I also knew that marrying Gloria would make *my* life better.  I didn't realize how *much* better it would make my life.  I had no idea that only by marrying Gloria would I be able to publish books.  I had no idea that it would be Gloria, encouraging me, that would get me into the situation where I got to teach all around the world (and I love teaching).  I didn't know any of that.  But I knew that marrying Gloria would make my life better.  And so, my rationale for marrying Gloria was not completely disinterested, and was not entirely un-self-serving.  In other words it wasn't completely pure.  It wasn't completely perfect.

And the point is, that is the standard.  That is the standard for living a good life.  That is the standard for being a good person.  Being perfect.  That is what we need to aspire to.  That is what justifies us to God.  Being perfect.  And it's impossible to be perfect.  At least for us.

That is the target.  That is the standard.  Being perfect.  And, as much as Paul, or my little brother, or any of you, or anyone, may want to argue otherwise, I am not perfect.  (Well, I am quite sure that there are quite a number of you who are quite willing to attest to the fact that I am not perfect. Thank you for supporting my argument.)

So, specifically, I am an adulterer.  I married a woman, who was divorced, and I did it from not completely pure motives.  God did not say to me, as he said to Hosea, go and marry a prostitute.  And, in any case, Gloria was not a prostitute.  Far from it.  But the point is, God didn't tell me to marry Gloria.  God did not direct me, and say that, he was going to give me a one-off permit, to break the law, just this once.  No, I decided to marry Gloria, all on my own.  And it wasn't a perfect decision.  So I'm not perfect.

Now there are plenty of other ways that I could prove that I'm not perfect.  But, in this case, the only other party to the transaction is dead, and can't be harmed by my saying it.  And, in addition, if you want to go to the trouble, you can look it up and prove what I am saying.  Gloria had a husband before me, and she divorced him, and he was still alive when I married Gloria.  So I am an adulterer.  I have sinned.

But, we are *all* sinners.  I think that that is the point of this verse, and most of the Sermon on the Mount, come to that.  We don't have to be rabidly promiscuous to be sinners.  We just have to be less than perfect.  Not only are we all sinners, there is *nothing* that we can do that is possibly good enough to make up for our sin.  No possible way we can make it right.  There is no way we can pay off our debt of sin.

So, God did it for us.

And all *we* have to do, is accept it.

https://fibrecookery.blogspot.com/2023/09/sermons.html

Wednesday, January 15, 2025

Fantasia

My ultimate fantasy is having a brain that lets me enjoy being alive.


A lack of positive reinforcement eventually results in behavioral extinction.

Tuesday, January 14, 2025

Sermon 54 - Liability and Negligence

Sermon 54 - Liability and Negligence

Proverbs 24:11-12 Rescue those being led away to death; hold back those staggering toward slaughter.  If you say, "But we knew nothing about this," does not he who weighs the heart perceive it?  Does not he who guards your life know it?  Will he not repay everyone according to what they have done?


For a quarter of a century I have been facilitating seminars for people who are going for their professional certification in information security.  None of this, of course, is of any interest to you.  But part of what I have to cover in the seminars is about law.  Now, I am not a lawyer.  I don't even play one on TV, as the saying goes.  But, in order to deal with the material in these seminars, I have had to study quite a bit about law, and, particularly, legal principles.  I have to concentrate on legal principles, because, in information security, the perpetrator may be in one jurisdiction, and the victim in another jurisdiction, and the system used to perpetrate a crime may be in yet a third jurisdiction.  And that's possibly the very *simplest* case involved in legal matters on the Internet.  So we have to deal with principles that are commonly accepted by pretty much all jurisdictions, rather than individual laws in one particular jurisdiction.

One of the issues that is common to pretty much every legal jurisdiction and system is that of liability.  Generally speaking, just simply the fact that something bad happens is not enough to say that someone is guilty of a crime.  We also have to show that this individual, or enterprise, or other party, is somehow responsible for either the crime, or the fact that a crime happened.  If you have a law that says that someone who does something specific is guilty of a crime, well, that's one thing.  But very often the law also says that, in certain cases, if you don't do something, and someone is harmed, or injured, or suffers a loss, and you had the power to take action to have prevented that loss or harm, and you *didn't* take that action, then you were negligent.  You can be guilty of doing a crime, or you can be guilty of not doing something which prevented a harm.  That is negligence.

And, for a quarter of a century, I have been telling stories to illustrate these twin ideas of liability and negligence.  And so I'm going to tell a couple of them to you now.  I know that, when you write a sermon, you are supposed to have three points and an illustration.  I apologize for failing to stick to the formula.  In the case of this particular sermon, I have one point, and two illustrations.

Actually, the reason that I'm telling you these stories is a little bit different from the reason that I tell the seminars these stories.  The reason that I tell the seminars this story is because of something called precedent.  In Canada, we are under what is known as the Common Law legal system.  The Common Law legal system is actually relatively *un*common.  It comes from the British legal system.  And one of the principles in the Common Law legal system is that, when a court has made a decision, the reason for that decision becomes a precedent.  This means that previous cases, cases that have been decided prior to the one that you are working on, give you guidance as to how you should decide the case that you are currently working on.  The precedents in prior legal cases become, in a sense, legal principles themselves.  This is not the case in many other legal systems around the world, under what is known as a civil law legal system.  Under a civil law legal system, if you don't have a law against what somebody has done, then what they have done is not a crime.

Which is all very interesting if you are studying to deal with the law, but most of you aren't.  As a matter of fact, I think I can probably say that pretty much none of you are.  So we will go on with the story, and I'll get to the point of the story a bit later.

Once upon a time, roughly a century ago (in case you want to know), there was a shipping company.  I believe that, in this particular case, it was operating someplace on the Great Lakes.  On one particular trip they had a ship towing a barge, and the barge was full of contents being shipped from one place to another.  On this particular trip, a storm blew up.  This happens quite often on the Great Lakes.  You may have heard Gordon Lightfoot's song about "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald."  It was that kind of storm, and, while the ship survived, the barge, and the contents of the barge, went down.

The shipping company had insurance.  And so, they made a claim on their insurance, since they, as the shippers, were responsible not only for the fact that they had lost a very expensive barge, but also for all the expensive contents that had been put on the barge.

The insurance company refused to pay.  Now, I know that there may be some of you who think that that's what we are talking about here: the evils of evil insurance companies who do not pay out insurance.  But that's not quite what we're talking about here.

Because the insurance company refused to pay, all of this ended up in court.  And, in court, the insurance company said that if the shipping company had had a radio on the ship that was towing the barge, the people in charge of the ship would have had some warning of the storm, and would have pulled into port in order to ride out the storm.  Therefore, since the shipping company had no radio on the towing ship, or the barge, they were, in fact, negligent, and therefore liable for the loss, and therefore the insurance company did not have to pay.

I have said that this story takes place a while ago.  From nearer to the time of the sinking of the Titanic.  And, when the Titanic went down, it, of course, radioed to other ships that it was sinking.  And, in fact, other ships did respond.  But it took them many hours to get there.  There was a ship that was considerably closer than the other ships that attempted to respond.  The closer ship didn't respond, even though it had a radio, because, at that time, radios were expensive, and specialized, and they weren't used around the clock.  Radios, in those days, were often only on ships because first class passengers, mostly big businessmen, might want to send orders to their businesses, and pay for the privilege.  So, while this ship had a radio, and a radio operator, the radio operator had gone off duty because it was considered that, at that point, none of the first class passengers would be interested in sending messages, and pay for the privilege.  That ship could have got to the Titanic much faster.  That ship might have saved many more lives, but it wasn't considered commercially feasible to have the radio staffed around the clock.

So, that is what the shipping card company argued in court.  They said that radios were new, and that people had to be trained to use them, and that, in fact, almost none of the other shipping companies had radio operators on their ships.  Therefore, to make an argument that they were responsible, and liable, for the damages, and the loss of the barge and content, was unreasonable.

The court decided for the insurance company, and against the shipping company.  The court held that the technology existed.  And that, although radios were expensive, and even though having radio specialists on board between would have added to the expense, the extra expense was, in fact, nothing in comparison to the loss of the barge and the contents.  And therefore the shipping company was liable, and negligent, in not having a radio, and the insurance company didn't have to pay.

Now that is one thing about liability.  And that is now a precedent in common law.  If a protection exists, even if it is an added expense or trouble, if it is not too expensive relative to what you are protecting, you are responsible for putting the protection in place.

Okay, that is one story.  Now to the other story.

This story is about a shoe company.  They were a big shoe company.  They had plants and factories that made shoes.  And they had various materials that went into the processing of leather, and the making of shoes.  So in addition to having property where their factories, and even their stores, were located, they had other properties where they stored materials that went into the making of shoes, and the treating of leather.  And, indeed, they had still other properties where they stored the leftovers, and the discards, and items that remained, after they had dealt with treating the leather, and after they had made the shoes.

Now, this story takes place quite a while after the story about the shipping company.  By this time, governments had started to look at companies, and what they were doing, and how safely they were doing it, and what they were storing on various properties, and whether it was, in fact, safe to store those materials, in the way they were being stored.

So, once upon a time, once again a while ago (but this time not *quite* so long ago), some government inspectors came to a property that was held by the shoe company.  And they identified themselves, and said that they were there to look around the property, and see what was there.  And the supervisor of that particular site took them around.  And answered questions about what materials were stored there.  And, at one point, they came across some steel drums, containing liquid.  And the inspectors asked what was being stored in those steel drums.  And the supervisor said, well, gee, I don't know.  They were here when I got here.  And I never have known what was in them.

And so the inspectors got somebody to look at what was in the steel drums.  What was in the steel drums was, in fact, particularly nasty.  And, in fact, it was leaking out of the drums.

And so the supervisor called up the company, and they got out various people, and various pieces of equipment, and backhoes, and dump trucks, and people who could check what had happened with that material leaking into the ground.  And all of this activity was very expensive.  And, in the end, after finding a safe place to which to take the liquid, and deal with it, and, after digging up the soil that seemed to have been contaminated, and finding a safe place to put that soil, and to deal with it, and after having tested and ensured that none of the material had, in fact, leaked into the groundwater, and then into streams and other places where it might have spread, well, what with all of that, and other things, it came to a lot of money.

And then the inspectors came back.  And they got information about what had been done with the material, and the soil, and what had been done on the site where it had been stored, and all the work that had been done.  And they said, this is very nice.  This is commendable.  You have done a really great job.  Here is a fine for $300,000.

And the shoe company said, wait a minute, we didn't even *know* about this!  As soon as we *did* know, we fixed it!  You even said we did a great job!  Even the supervisor at the site didn't know about this!  Why do we have to pay this fine?  And it went to court.  And the court said, even though you didn't know about it, and even though the supervisor didn't know about it, this was nasty stuff.  You *should* have known about it.  And, yes, you have to pay the fine.  And, in fact, the supervisor is *personally* responsible for $50,000 of that fine.  The site supervisor was, in fact, within 4 months of retirement.  A $50,000 fine is going to put a heck of a crimp into your 401k, or RRSP.

So, in both of those stories, both the shipping company, and the shoe company, and even the site supervisor, were all liable.  They were all held to be negligent.  In the case of the shoe company, and the supervisor, they haven't even actually done something that was criminally wrong.  They had just failed to do something that would have kept other people safe.  And, in the case of the shoe company, and the supervisor, it wasn't even as if a harm *had* been done to other people.  As soon as they were informed; as soon as they knew that there was a problem; they took steps to remediate it, to mitigate it, to make it right, and make sure that nobody got hurt.  They did the right things.  When they found out.

But the courts, in both cases, basically said, you should have known.  It is not enough to say that we didn't know.

And the Bible sides with the courts, in these cases.  The Bible says, it's not enough to follow the Ten Commandments, and not do bad things.  You have to make sure that you are doing the *right* thing.  In the books of the law, the Bible doesn't just say don't steal.  The Bible says if your neighbour's animal wanders away, and you find it, you have to bring it back to your neighbor.  Or you have to let your neighbor know that you found it.  It's not enough to say, oh well, he should have known that his animal was straying.  No, when you see something that could harm your neighbour, you have to fix it.  Or, you have to take steps to make sure your neighbour fixes it.  Even if your neighbour is your enemy, rather than a friend.  If you see something, say something.

The Bible goes further than that.  It says rescue those who are being led away to death.  And it goes on to say, quite specifically, that you can't get off by saying well, we didn't know about that!  The Bible says that you are liable for your neighbour's hurt, or harm, or injury, or distress, even if all you see is a bunch of people being led away.  Or being led astray.

So I have *another* story to tell you.  This story is, once again, about information technology.  It's a little bit more technical.  On a network, when you want to communicate with another machine, or device, on the network, you send it a SYN packet.  That is spelled S Y N.  It's the beginning of the word "synchronize."  That's what you want to do.  You want to synchronize communications on the network so that you can communicate with that particular node or device.  Now, notice, you haven't actually said anything.  You haven't actually communicated anything, other than your desire for communication.  And the device to which you have sent the SYN request responds with an ACK.  That stands for "acknowledge."  It means that the node, that you want to communicate with, is acknowledging that you want to communicate with it, and that it is ready to communicate.

So, even when you have sent the SYN, and got the ACK, you will notice that no communication has actually taken place.  It's just I want to communicate, I am ready to communicate.  That's all.

The reason that I bring this up is that we have a SYN/ACK that we use, pretty much every day, probably more than once a day.  You have probably used it in church already this morning, and you have probably used it multiple times.

That SYN/ACK is, "how are you?"  We don't really care how the other person is.  I know that.  I know that for a *fact*.  Because I can have someone say to me, "how are you," and I will reply "terrible."  And the person will, most often, laugh.  Is that person, in fact, laughing at my pain and distress?  Well, no.  That person just didn't expect me to say terrible.  I have broken the protocol.  That person said how are you, which is basically just SYN.  That person doesn't really care, not really, how I am.  They just want to start a conversation.  My part of the protocol is to respond with, "fine."  That is the ACK part of the protocol.  Whether or not I *am* fine, doesn't matter.  Because the person who said "how are you," doesn't really care how I am.  That's how I know that this is just a protocol, rather than an actual attempt at communication.

As I say, I mess with the protocol.  When I say "terrible," the number one response is the laugh.  One time, somebody asked how I was, and I said terrible, and the person said, and this is a *literal* quote, "just the way you like it!"  How can you possibly say that?  I am a grieving widower.  And I am a depressive.  My life sucks.  And I *live* in a town where, when somebody asks how I am, and I respond terrible, they can respond, "just the way you like it!"  How is it possible that "just the way you like it" is the proper response to "I am terrible!"

Now, mostly we come to church, not to learn about the Bible, not necessarily to praise God, and not to find out whether anybody else in church is in trouble.  Mostly we come to church to socialize.  And we get a chance to socialize before the service starts.  (If, that is, you are not from Port Alberni, and you actually show up early for anything.)  And then we build in time during the service, for us to greet each other, and to do a bit more socializing, possibly with different people than when we socialize with, before the service.  And there are a couple of churches, here in the city, that actually have their coffee time *during* the service, so that there is an *additional* opportunity to socialize, possibly with yet another, different, group of people.  And then there is the period after the service is over, and we have heard the sermon, and we have been blessed, and we are sent on our way, and we can socialize yet again, possibly with yet another, different, group of people.

So, we have multiple opportunities to talk to people. And, now, what I am about to suggest to you, is, I know, unwelcome.  I am going to break your regular protocol, once again.  I suggest that, during any, or indeed, *all*, of those times of socialization, you don't just do SYN/ACK.  I suggest that you ask someone, even if you ask them how they are, and they say fine, I suggest you ask them, how they *really* are.  And I particularly suggest that you do this with someone that you regularly do not socialize with.  That you do not socialize with on a regular basis.  Someone that you do not know. 

I know. I know.  You don't want to do this.  For one thing, you don't want to talk to someone that you don't know.  Who *knows* what trouble that can cause!  You may be talking to someone who has never been to your church before.  You may, horror of horrors, speak to someone who has been to your church, multiple times, and nobody from your church has actually ever *talked* to them!  And, very worst of all, even if it is someone you know, maybe *especially* if it is someone whom you know, and with whom you have had many SYN/ACK conversations over the years, they may *not* be fine!  They may be in trouble!  They may be in pain!  They may be in distress!  And, absolutely worst of all, it may be the kind of trouble that you cannot fix in seventeen seconds with a cliche!  What the heck are you going to do now?

Well, since *I* have created the problem, *I* will give you a suggestion.  Listen.  Don't try to fix the problem.  Don't try to fix the pain.  Don't think that you, with a cliche, or a Bible proof text, have the answer to their distress, and you can just drop that verse into the conversation, a verse which they probably know as well as you do, and everything will magically be all right.  (If you know anything about me you know that I *hate* magical thinking.)

Or, you can do what I know most of you are going to do.  And that is to ignore this entire sermon, and the suggestion, and you can pretend that everything is fine, and that nobody has any problems.  And that if anyone has any problems, those problems are not your responsibility.

You can just go back to being negligent.

Monday, January 13, 2025

Oh, sheet!

What law of physics or cosmology that states that it is always the *fitted* sheet (and not the flat) in a set that is the one that tears?

MGG - 6.07 - Gloria - Who are you, again?

 Gloria's father was delighted that our decision about the style of the reception saved him a great deal of money in terms of the cost of a sit-down dinner.  He therefore decided to gift us with the present of a honeymoon in Hawaii.  He had arranged our airline tickets, and our stay at a very, very nice hotel, and pick up at the airport by a greeters company.  This didn't work out too terribly well: for some reason our flight was delayed slightly, and the greeters company decided that this was too late, and they were presumably into overtime rates, and so they left.  Both Gloria and myself are short on experience in terms of vacation travel, and this somewhat threw us, and so it was rather late when we finally were able to get a taxi, and get to the hotel.

I must admit that I did not help matters.  Just before we got engaged, I had, basically, lost pretty much my entire life savings in the crash of a financial institution.  Therefore, I was extremely nervous about the additional costs to be incurred on this trip, regardless of the fact that the airline and hotel were paid for.  I was also rather stressed over the preparations for the wedding, and I didn't deal with any of this particularly well.

We got to the hotel.  We got checked in.  Stu had booked us the honeymoon suite.  Actually, I assume that this particular hotel has several honeymoon suites.  But this was a very nice one, tucked in an inside corner of the building, with a balcony looking out over the courtyard.  When we got up in the morning, Gloria looked out into the courtyard, which was planted with coconut palms.  The winds, fairly constant in Hawaii, were gently blowing, and the trees were moving in the wind.  "Oh," said Gloria, "nobody told me about the palm trees dancing!"  We will speak more of Gloria's enjoyment of anything to be enjoyed in life.

Now, I have to admit to a major failing on my part.  I am infamous, among friends and family, for not being able to remember names.  And it's not just names.  I can remember very little about the details of people's lives, unless I am actively dealing with them, extensively, in the immediate time period when you ask me about them.  When I went away to work on the railroad one summer I forgot my best friend's name, during that time period.  I had created a calendar, upon which I had written the names and the dates when I had written to various friends and family members.  When I got home, I had to look up that calendar, and look at a date when I recalled I had sent my best friend a letter, in order to remind myself what his name was.  That's how bad my infirmity is.  I do not do string variables.  I frequently say that I am not very good with names, or faces, but I never forget a number.  And that is almost literally true.  Numbers I remember.  Numbers, as far as I am concerned, have meaning.  (A fact that Gloria would strongly dispute.)  Names are arbitrary, and meaningless, except as variable references.

I blame my mother for this.  As I have mentioned, mother made me her confidante.  She told me all kinds of gossip, about all kinds of people in the church, and the denomination.  She also told me that I could never tell anyone this material.  So, I assume I got very good at forgetting it.  And anything associated with people.  Which makes it difficult these days.

And, if I said that that example was bad, it gets worse.  I forgot Gloria's name, on our honeymoon.  One morning we had gone to a restaurant to get breakfast.  Gloria became interested in a piece of artwork hanging on the wall.  When the hostess (whatever the current, non-gender identified term is, these days) came back to inform us that our table was ready, I turned to Gloria, and realized that none of the female names that I could recall were, in fact, correct.  So, I just said, "Come."  Gloria, knowing that this was not exactly my style, turned to me and said "Come?"  All that I could think of to say, in the moment, was "Come, *please*!"

Gloria, when asked why she didn't like travel or vacations, would note that, if you were sitting on a beach, sand got into your embroidery.  When pressed, she would also note that she did not like to sit in the sun.  This was an understatement.  Not only did Gloria not like the sun, the sun definitely did not like her.  She got sunburn at the drop of a hat.  Sometimes literally.  If she was exposed to the sun for any length, she burned very easily, and suffered great pain from it.  On another morning in our Hawaiian stay, we had planned to be at a hula demonstration, which took place not far from our hotel, at 10:00 in the morning.  On the appointed day, at the appointed time, we went to the display, and enjoyed it.  It was only a short demonstration: no more than twenty minutes.  However, later that day, and not too much later at that, Gloria's skin started to burn.  She had been in the sun for only twenty minutes.  She had covered up, mostly.  But there was an area, about a foot long, and two inches wide, where the neck of her dress had exposed her neck and shoulders.  That area burned.  Not just red: it turned a deep and dark purple, in places almost black.  We obtained an analgesic burn cream from a pharmacy.  I had to apply it with the lightest of touches, putting a large glob of the cream on my finger, and only touching Gloria with the cream itself, so as not to press my fingers on her skin.  Even so, it was intensely painful for Gloria.  And it had not finished healing, by the time we needed to come home.  The skin had started blistering and peeling by then, but the underlying skin was still extremely tender.

As noted, I was not handling any of these problems well.  The combined stress gave me a rather blinding headache for a number of the days of our honeymoon.  I did not do well.  I did not handle the honeymoon, or the headache particularly appropriately.  This is my fault, and my fault alone.  And it is my fault if Gloria did not enjoy being in Hawaii.  We did, in fact, make plans at various times, to get back to Hawaii and have a redo of the honeymoon, at times when Gloria had been able to work on my inability to handle complex situations, and I might have been a bit better able to give her the honeymoon that she deserved.  For one reason or another, these plans never came to fruition before Gloria died.  Another one of my regrets.

Gloria loved quilting. Let me rephrase that: Gloria loved fabric.  Gloria loved textiles, of pretty much any sort.  She loved the colors.  She loved the colors of fabrics for quilting, and she loved matching fabrics for quilting.  She loved purchasing different fabrics, and planning color matches for different block patterns for quilts.  But she also loved buying pre-chosen rolls and packages of fabrics for quilting.  She loved buying quilt kits.  Even if the quilt kit was not a particularly good choice in terms of color.  One such, which is still in the stash, is a kit of microfibre fabrics, deliciously soft, in blacks, whites, and primary colours, and so is a rather unsorted and random mix of colors, but which Gloria purchased, because I liked the touch of the fabrics.  Gloria was going to make it into a quilt for me.  Unfortunately, it never got made.

But another quilt, that never got finished before Gloria died, was one that she was, in fact, designing and starting collecting fabrics for, when we got married.  It was a log cabin block quilt.  Gloria worked on it, off and on, for pretty much the entire period Of our marriage.   She had collected the appropriate fabrics, created the blocks, and pieced the top.  However, she had not finished the borders, or the backing, and had not had it quilted, by the time she died.  After Gloria died, I was going through the sewing room stash.  The girls had put the whole sewing room into a storage locker, as, when they moved me from North Vancouver to Delta, we knew that a sewing room was probably not immediately possible, but none of us were willing to dispose of Gloria stash while she was still unconscious.  I looked through all the materials that I could find in the storage locker, looking for the log cabin quilt.  I didn't find it.  I didn't find it, because the girls had taken it, completed the borders, and then had the quilt quilted.  They presented me with the finished quilt at our great-grandson's first birthday party, that summer.  Fortunately, towards the end of the party, as I was a blubbering mess after the presentation.

Gloria enjoyed what there was to enjoy of life.  Completely.  Her first husband once left a movie, which they were watching together (a comedy movie), because Gloria started laughing.  Out loud.  He actually left the theater, rather than sit beside Gloria while she was laughing.  This says something about Gloria, but it also says something about her first husband.

She had told me this story, somewhat apologetically at times, to warn me that she might laugh out loud in certain situations.  I didn't care.  If Gloria enjoyed herself enough to laugh, I thought that was great.  There was no way I was going to be embarrassed by Gloria laughing.  Gloria did not laugh at inappropriate times.  She did not laugh at inappropriate things.  She enjoyed what there was to enjoy.  And what's the problem with that?

Sometime later my little brother presented us with some videos of two Monty Python movies.  One of them was the movie "And Now for Something Completely Different."  Eventually, we played this movie for ourselves.  As soon as it started playing, Gloria turned to me and said, "That's the movie!"  This was, in fact, the movie that had caused Gloria to laugh out loud, and which her first husband would not sit through, because Gloria was laughing.  I was delighted that she loved this movie enough to laugh at it: I love Monty Python, in all its forms.  Gloria, was not a particular fan of Monty Python.  So, to discover that this particular movie was the one that had caused her to laugh, was a delight to me, as a shared enjoyment.

Previous: https://fibrecookery.blogspot.com/2025/01/mgg-606-gloria-wedding-planner.html

Introduction and ToC: https://fibrecookery.blogspot.com/2023/10/mgg-introduction.html

Next: TBA

The Majoron

I have just heard about The Majoron.

It is, according to the report, a real thing.  It is a mixture of right-handed neutrinos (neutrinos are weird enough *anyway*, and all neutrinos are left-handed [which is pretty sinister, when you think about it]).  The Majoron is its own antiparticle, and also explains the strange properties of neutrinos, the dominance of matter in the universe, and "dark matter."  This is all weird enough that I would not be surprised if the whole thing was a hoax theory, made up by a bunch of physics grad students during a beginning of term kegger.

However, I am struck by the notion of making up a new philosophy or religion (a al Scientology), claiming that The Majoron explains absolutely *everything*: any of the mysteries of life.  Possibly I could start a new political movement with it: I'm sure the MAGA-types would be on it like white on rice.  Anybody got Robert Kennedy's phone number?

Of course, because of Facebook's fight with the news media, when I posted it there I couldn't give a pointer to the report of this: you'll have to go and find out, for yourself, that this is true.  (This is yet another of the advantages of The Majoron theory: you have to find it out for yourself, and so, like Q "breadcrumbs," it means that you will believe all the more in the concept, and will be resistant to correction.)

All hail The Majoron!  Let His particles shower upon us!  Send your donations and free will offerings to this account!

(Apparently, the report that I originally read on it was wrong, and the name of the proposed particle is not majoran but majoron.  So, we are off to a great start with this fictional and error-ridden philosophy!)