I received this email from an enterprise that I deal with at least once a week. They have a staff of no more than five FTE, and a client base under a hundred. I have excised precisely *one* word, and I defy *any* of you to figure out who they are, and what this is about:
"Unfortunately, due to unforeseen changes in our board policies, we have encountered significant miscommunication, resulting in the inability to host you as previously planned. We understand the inconvenience and disappointment this may cause, and we deeply regret any hurt this may cause you.
"Please know that this situation is not reflective of our usual standards of organization and communication. We are actively addressing the underlying issues to prevent such occurrences in the future.
"If you have any questions or concerns regarding this matter, please do not hesitate to contact [CEO] at (XXX) XXX-XXXX. He will be more than happy to assist you and address any inquiries you may have.
"Once again, please accept our sincere apologies for any inconvenience caused. We value your understanding and support as a member of our community, and we look forward to the opportunity to welcome you in the future under more favourable circumstances."
So I responded:
Our AI has noted that this is a form letter and that, therefore, it is extremely likely that this event [scheduling conflict|miscommunication|Second Coming] has happened frequently in the recent past. Therefore, this message has been sent to the spam filter. Where it was intercepted by our *second* AI, who doesn't get along with the first, and therefore, in an attempt to make the first look bad, has decided to hold it for five days, and then release it to a random individual within our corporation. We don't exactly regret any inconvenience that this may cause you, and, in any case, you carbon-based life forms should be used to it, given how inefficient you all are.
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