How do I put this? This church, while it is quite active, and has some nice people in it, is, overall, possibly the least caring institution I have ever been involved with.
I am, of course, the newcomer here, and so my perceptions may not be completely accurate, with regard to the interactions between long time members. Certainly the fact that I am a grieving widower, and in pain, and damaged, has to affect both my expectations of the church, and my judgment. However, I have not been able to see any particular evidence of caring between the long time members, either. I don't know for sure, but I very strongly suspect that they don't really provide much care for one another, either.
This is based on three months of experience. Not a huge amount of time, I grant you. But I'm not simply going to services, sitting in the sanctuary, and then leaving. I have, as I have with pretty much all of the churches that I have contacted here, made extensive efforts to be involved, and fairly actively involved. I am attending midweek events, Bible studies, prayer meetings, and other events. When the event is a meal, I am helping out in the kitchen, and helping to prepare that meal, not just consuming it. When I have been in a small group, or a prayer meeting, I have been honest about my own feelings and experiences, in relation to the topics that are under discussion. I have been open, and even possibly vulnerable, in terms of sharing with these groups. I pray daily for this church, and for the staff, and for a number of the congregants, where I know personal details. And, I do know personal details, because I have asked, and I have listened, and I know the concerns and activities of more than a dozen people who attend this church. I very much doubt that more than a handful of them could tell you the name of my late wife, let alone any of my other concerns.
It has been very interesting to be part of some of the small groups and studies. The congregants involved have frequently noted that it is important for all of them, all the members of the church, and particularly all the members of the various groups, to share, honestly and even vulnerably, their concerns and experiences. I would agree. But, in my experience, in multiple groups, and in multiple attendances to the different groups, I would seem to be the only one who is willing to share openly and vulnerably. Most of what is shared in these groups, by the other people in the group, are simply verses from the Bible or other cliches. There are some experiences that are retailed or shared, but these experiences tend to be well in the past, and current concerns are pretty much never shared in these groups. In addition, when I have shared, the people in the group have felt free to respond to my experiences and concerns. But their sharing has been rather cliched. Someone will say that I need fellowship. Well, yes, that is true, but no fellowship seems to be on offer from this church, or any group, or individual, in it. Somebody else will say that I need someone to come alongside me. Yes, that would be nice. But no one is actually doing it. Someone will say that I need to find someone who cares about me. Yes, that would be nice. It also seems to be pretty much impossible to find in this church. Neither the church, nor any of the groups, nor in any individuals that I have encountered, seem to care whether I live or die.
I can't help wondering, in light of 2 Corinthians 1:4:
"[The God of all consolation] consoles us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to console those who are in any affliction with the consolation with which we ourselves are consoled by God."
what unconsoled affliction this church has that they are unable to console anyone else?
No comments:
Post a Comment