Societal grief and misbehaviour

One of the things about the pandemic that has disturbed me the most is the level of what might broadly be termed as "misbehaviour" that has taken place.  In any disaster, there are those who take advantage, scam, and loot.  (And, there are those who help, assist, and try to provide.)  But, with the pandemic, people, normal people, seemed to find licence to give free rein to racism, belligerence, intolerance, acts of violence and overt aggression, verbal abuse of total strangers, strident calls for punishment of minor offences, vitreolic attacks on those who disagree with your position, and so forth.  Even in Canada, where the national characteristic is "tolerance to the point of vice."

I was talking about this with a clerical friend (clerical in the pastoral sense, not secretarial), and she said that it was because we were, as a whole society, grieving.  We have lost normality.  We have lost the calm, even tenor of a life, with a job, with continuity and, even if there are a few things we didn't like about it, the expectation that nothing really, seriously, bad was going to happen to us.

This makes an awful lot of sense.  One of the (symptoms? side effects? factors?) aspects of grief is unreasoning anger.  It's one of the reasons that families often sue doctors or police or anyone who can possibly be blamed for the death of a loved one, even if those people really aren't to blame.  Sometimes we are angry at the deceased, or at God.  If we are angry, we must be mad at *someone*, and for some good reason.  The reality is that the bereaved are, often, simply angry at the loss.

Response generalization takes over, and our mind finds reasons for our aroused state, even if those reasons don't stand up to rational examination.  (The bereaved are not known for their calm rationality and analysis.)  We find a reason to be angry at someone, for some slight, or even just imagined, offence.  And then we channel the full force of that rage (which is, even though unjustified, very real and strong) at someone who doesn't deserve it.  Creating yet more destruction and loss in the world.

If you are grieving, I understand.  But, find a way to channel or manage that anger.  Use it to motivate work, properly.  Find an appropriate direction for it.  Do not let it hurt others.  Or I will be very angry with you.

And you wouldn't like me, when I'm angry ...