One of the things I learned from being married to Gloria was that, absent support or restrictions, I am, in the state of nature, intensely competitive. I don't know why. Possibly it is because I have always felt alone, and with no support, and worry that if I don't constantly struggle, nothing (and no one) is going to help me to survive.
One of the other things that I learned was that I am intensely tactile. Again, I don't know why. Growing up in our family, physical contact just wasn't around. Maybe that's why I need it.
These two facts are related.
One of the things that annoyed, and sometimes scared, Gloria, was that, when upset, my driving tended to get more aggressive. She eventually learned that all she had to do, if I was starting to get aggressive on the road, was to touch my skin. I'd calm down, and slow down.
Today I heard a fragment of a song, "Take a Look Around," by William Prince. I didn't even hear the whole song, just a few lines of it. Including the lines, "When she would place her hands upon my skin/calm the fear I held within/I'd be lost without her now ..."
So, major grief burst ...
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