MGG - 6.01 - Gloria - Moving and not moving

 Gloria was an Air Force brat.  Her father moved the family whenever he got re-assigned.  Even after he left the forces, he still moved the family frequently.  Sometimes even within the same town, since he liked to be close enough to work to come home for lunch.

As I have said, Gloria was moved many times, by her father, and then by her first husband.  When she finally got rid of her first husband (very justifiably so), she rented a townhouse on Baird Road.  She stated that now that there was no man in her life to force a move, she wasn't moving again.

Again, as I frequently say, I told people that the only reason Gloria agreed to marry me, was that I moved into her place, and didn't make her move again.  So we didn't.  We stayed in that townhouse for thirty-four and a half years.

When Gloria went into hospital, the girls sat me down and asked what it would take for me to move, with their assistance, while Gloria was in hospital.  I said I needed to be able to walk to the local library, and I needed internet access.  "That's all?" asked Number One Daughter.  "That's all," I replied.

The girls had had their eye on a place in Delta, close to Number Two Daughter.  Stairs had become an issue of difficulty for Gloria in the townhouse, as it was on two levels.  In addition, getting into the bathtub, for a shower, was a difficulty, as it was a problem for Gloria to step into the tub, in order to do so.  The new place that the girls had found was on a single level, with a ground floor entrance, and no stairs.  At least, no necessary stairs.  It also had a rather large shower enclosure, which would have been perfect.  The girls had gone even further, in assessing this venue.  They told me that I was to look at unit 119, and also unit 105.  They had eliminated all the others.  I chose 105 as being most suitable, and desirable, for Gloria.

What we didn't realize, was that Gloria would rather die than move.  (At least, that's what I tell people.)  At any rate, Gloria never did move into the new place.

But we had, already, moved out of the Baird road townhouse.  In fact, we would have had to have moved out of the Baird road townhouse eventually, regardless.  The townhouse was a part of a parcel that had been packaged for redevelopment.  It had in fact been sold to new owners, and we were under threat of renoviction.  The new owners, wanting to get the best rental price for the townhouse, in the short time before redevelopment took place, decided to renovate every townhouse that was vacated before the redevelopment.

The manager, of the townhouse complex, was a fellow that we had known since he was three years old.  His parents had moved into the complex, when he was three years old, to, themselves, take up the position as manager.  His parents had managed the complex for many years.  When they gave up the management of the complex, he stepped into the position.

You will notice, that he was, at this point, over thirty years old himself, and he had, in fact, lived in the complex, for pretty much all of his life that he could remember.  In fact, the townhouse that he, himself, had lived in had changed.  His parents, had moved townhouses, themselves, preferring a different layout.  So, the one location, in all of his life, that had not changed, was our townhouse, which he had been a regular visitor to, including time when we had been babysitting himself and his sister.

He told me, after I had moved out, that being asked to renovate our townhouse, was the last straw, as far as he was concerned.  He gave up the position as manager, bought a property in the interior, and moved there, to follow other pursuits.  I thought this a bit of an odd reaction, until I thought back, and realized that our townhouse, had been the one consistent thing in his entire life, and our move out of it broke that consistency.

I should mention that, as well as having the same address, for all of our married life, we had the same telephone number.  In fact, Gloria had had that telephone number for even longer, as she had had that telephone number, in the place where she lived before the townhouse, and brought it with her when she moved.  When I moved to Delta, Telus allowed me to move that telephone number to Delta as my home phone, so I did, thereby keeping Gloria's telephone number alive.  But when the girls moved me to Port Alberni, Telus would not allow me to move that number as my home phone.  As a matter of fact, despite strenuous attempts, Telus was unable to provide me any services at all.  However, I did, eventually, get a phone from Koodo, and, as a Telus subsidiary, was able to port that number to my cell phone.  So, I still have been able to keep Gloria's phone number alive.

Previous: https://fibrecookery.blogspot.com/2024/12/mgg-6oo-gloria-introduction-and-glorias.html

Introduction and ToC: https://fibrecookery.blogspot.com/2023/10/mgg-introduction.html

Next: TBA

o/' Feelings, nothing more than feelings ... o/'

The Alberni Reach Podcast is taking a bit of a break at the moment.  Apparently, we will be back on January the 14th.  But the last episode got a bit of interesting reaction.

I had been asked to talk about feelings.  Nothing more than feelings.  The person who made the suggestion to me didn't give any other details, other than that we should talk about feelings.  And when I pursued the idea that we should maybe get a little bit more specificity on that, the only additional feedback that I got was that some people seemed to be big on feelings, and other people didn't.  So, because of some related work in regard to emotions (and particularly the work that I have done in developing men's grief support), I figured that I could address that pretty easily.

And so I did, starting with the fact that our society, in general, seems to think that feelings, and emotions in general, are less important than rationality.  Feelings have to be kept under control.  We have to assess our emotions rationally, and then rationally decide on some course of action.  There are, of course, those who disagree, and feel that feelings are important, and should be expressed, and even celebrated.  But those people tend to be in something of a minority, and, in general, are disregarded by the people who run things in our society.  In general, rationality is considered to be superior to emotion.  Feelings are *mere* feelings, and nothing more.  (That wasn't *all* we talked about, but that was where it started, and what's relevant to this piece.)

Which completely ignores the fact that, if we were all computers (or Vulcans) and were completely rational, and not distracted by our feelings, we would never actually *do* anything.  Emotions, and feelings, are our drivers and motivators.  We have just seen an election in the United States that proves this point, and we have seen recent elections in a number of parts of the world that prove this point, and we are facing an election, in Canada, which is undoubtedly going to be run completely on emotional lines.  It's really interesting to live in a society that prides itself on its rationality, and is driving its "rationality" completely on its feelings of the moment.

But that's as may be.  Following the recording of our podcast on feelings, I got, relatively quickly, two extremely interesting reactions.  It is intriguing that, almost immediately, in our society that prides itself on rationality, and from people who obviously, verbally at least, are on the side of rationality, I got two, very similar, reactions that were completely irrational, illogical, and possibly even inherently contradictory.  Having done the podcast, starting right off the top pointing out that we do need our feelings and emotions as motivators for any kind of action, I got one reaction that, while not challenging this point, completely illustrated it.  The person, in commenting about feelings, immediately expressed the opinion that feelings were, in fact, a tool of the devil.  Possibly not in those exact words, but the person was very concerned that our feelings and emotions were, most often, sent to us from God's adversary, in order to distract us from what God wants us to do or think.  This would, of course, mean that feelings are completely untrustworthy, and should be ignored whenever possible.  In other words, feelings bad, rationality good.  Just the position that I had taken to task right at the beginning of the podcast.

And, shortly thereafter, I got another, very similar, reaction.  This one, once again, didn't challenge the idea that we needed both emotion and rationality, but charged right into the idea that feelings were everything (and I mean *everything*) that was wrong with our society.  People feel that they are the wrong gender, and therefore decide that they should switch.  And therefore feelings are the cause of all the problems in our society, and, once again, feelings bad, rationality good.  And I was struck, quite literally, speechless by this assertion.  I couldn't even respond to point out the complete irrationality of this position.  If someone decided to change gender based on mere feelings, nothing more than feelings, how could you ignore the *strength* of those feelings; the pain and the distress that must have driven someone to those feelings?  Changing genders is not easy, even in our somewhat more liberal society.  Changing genders in some societies will get you killed.  But even in our society, you are going to encounter tremendous opposition.  You are going to lose friends, and possibly family.  You may lose your job.  You will undoubtedly lose position and status in society.  Changing genders cannot be easy.  So how is it that you can possibly take the position that the feelings, that you want to change gender, are "mere" feelings; are mere emotionality; in light of the difficulties someone is going to encounter in trying to do it?

It was the irony of this fact; two champions of rationality, making two such similarly, and completely irrational statements; that struck me so forcefully.  They both felt their positions so strongly that they were unable to see the irrationalities, and inherent flaws, in their positions.

Such a position is illogical ...

(Just in case you don't get the subject line ... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g6vI0uE9iqM)

Proverbs 10:10

Someone who holds back the truth causes trouble, but one who openly criticizes works for peace.

Review of "Book Lovers" by Emily Henry

I guess I have to add Emily Henry to my list of authors to keep checking on for new books.

It's a rom-com.  There are two characters who, predictably, hate each other.  In this case, not because they are too different, but too similar.  It's about books.  It's about people who love books.  It's about editing books.  (I, who have lost my editor, had a bit of difficulty with that.)  It's about the tropes of a rom-com.  It's very well written.

It's about love.  It's about grief.  It's about loss and fear.  It's about home, and losing home.  (And I have lost my home.)

I should hate it, and I don't.  So it's probably very good.

MGG - 6.00 - Gloria - Introduction and Gloria's parentage

At the time I began writing this I was dieting.  I had been stuck, for a couple of months, at about 180 pounds. Every time I even think of that number, I hear Gloria's voice repeating a story from her family history. 

At one point, when Gloria was young, her family lived in the Toronto area.  At that time, her grandparents also lived in the same area.  On one occasion the whole family, including Gloria's grandparents, visited Niagara Falls.  They took the elevator down to the base of the falls.  On the long, long ride down, Gloria's Grama Campbell brightly observed oh, I wonder how far down this is.  The elevator operator replied, as he had undoubtedly done thousands and thousands of times in his career, "180 feet."  When Gloria told this story she always said the "hundred and eighty feet" in an absolutely bored, dead, flat, voice.

Gloria was a better storyteller than I am.

(We'll come back to that.)

Gloria is the daughter of Stu and Sulla Furneaux.

Stu was born in Saskatchewan, and, in common with many of those born in that province, was fiercely proud of the fact.  He was very proud of Saskatchewan, and, despite the fact that he fell in love with BC, and the Vancouver area, always held that Saskatchewan was the most marvelous place in Canada.

Stu was, in many ways, a product of his time and place.  As a bit of a farm boy, he was extremely conservative, both politically and socially.  This extended to the place and position of male and female genders.  Men and boys were superior; women and girls were to be subordinate and supportive.  There were things that men were supposed to do, and pursuits that women were supposed to do.  That was the way it was, and always had been, and the way that it should continue into the future.

Stu was quite interested in genealogy.  He had traced his family line back, supposedly in a direct and unbroken line, to about the 1600s.  He had additional genealogical material and sections, going back to when Roger de Furneaux, who came with the Norman invasion of England, was given a grant of land following the invasion.  The Furneaux name, through the centuries, developed a bewildering variety of forms such as Fernelle, Ferness, Forness, Fornow, and a number of other variants.

You will notice that this fact, of having an ancestor who came across in the Norman invasion, means that his family background originally descended from the French.  Stu very conveniently disregarded this fact.  He was very proud of being a British subject, and was an ardent monarchist.  Any mention of the fact that the Normans lived in what is now France, before they crossed the channel and invaded, was met with strong objections.

Sulla was actually Ursula.  Ursula was a family name, in her matriarchal ancestry, which was the side of the family that Sulla, and her daughter Gloria, knew the most about.  This means that the descent is through Robertson, Hardcastle, and Campbell, thus making the nominal line of descent somewhat more complex.  However, the Hardcastle women paid more attention, and, as women, who hold the family society together, they knew the stories, and the relationships, on the matriarchal side of the family.  The men, who supposedly held the official status, didn't pay as much attention to their own family stories, and so, while a few of them still existed when I married into the clan, they were far fewer, and much less well documented, in terms of the oral traditions.  Gloria had two daughters.  Gloria's brother had no children.  One of Gloria's daughters has a daughter, and that daughter has now produced another daughter.  Great women raise great women who raise great women.

One of the things that Gloria left behind was a scrap of cardboard, the back of an old notepad, with a number of sayings that I recognize as coming from her family, and probably particularly from her mother, Sulla.  Some of these sayings are, in fact, fairly common, such as "bless your pointed little head," which I doubt that either Sulla or Gloria realized referred to microcephaly.  Or "Lord love a duck," which is fairly commonly used.  Or " a lick and a promise," or "if looks could kill," or even "from stem to dungeon," which may not be used terribly commonly anymore but was by no means something that only the family invented and used as a reference.

Lord love a duck

Ship doo crick

Happy any old day

He who is without expectations is never disappointed

Soda in the milk

A man running for his life would never see it

A lick and a promise

We're still breathing in and out

Bless your little pointed head

Love you lots

God bless Safeway and their barbecue chicken

(Clean from) stem to gudgeon

If looks could kill

Some of the phrases, however, did originate solely with the family, and generally had a story attached such as "ship do crick," which was a phrase, possibly originating with Sulla, or even with Larry, and was all that the speaker could manage in trying to reproduce the phrase "shipwrecked crew."  This was used as a reference, within the family, when the person, or more likely the whole family, had been through an ordeal and was feeling tired and wrung out.

Another reference was the phrase "soda in the milk."  This was a reference to a family event and story, when one person's birthday present or party was under discussion, and those who were discussing and planning it, wanted to keep it confidential.  This discussion was going on in the kitchen, among the women of the family, when the person whose present or party was under discussion came into the room, and wanted to know what was being discussed.  Someone thought quickly, and replied that they were discussing how much soda to put into a pan of milk, when you were boiling it, in order to prevent the milk from burning in the pan.  Therefore, from then on, the phrase "soda in the milk" became a family code for "mind your own business--we are discussing you and don't want to tell you about it."

Stu was from Saskatchewan, and Sulla was from Manitoba.  During the Second World War, Stu enlisted, and was sent to military training at a camp near Portage la Prairie.  Sulla was involved with the entertainment of the servicemen who were in training, and dated some of them, including Stu.  Stu, at one point, asked Sulla to marry him.  She said no.  Fortunately for my story, and my life, a week later she wrote back to him and asked to change her answer to yes.  They were married in Portage la Prairie.  In a bit of a tearing hurry, because, before the wedding took place, Pearl Harbor was bombed, and all leaves were canceled.  The wedding was moved up, significantly, and they were married, and immediately headed off, on the train, to Stu's posting in Nova Scotia.  Gloria was conceived in Dartmouth.  Although she was born in Sydney.

As an Air force brat, Gloria was moved from pillar to post, as her dad's postings were moved.  She grew up in various camps.  Even when Stu left the service, he still continued to move the family, frequently.  In fact, he did return to the Air force for a time, and then left it for good, but still kept moving the family.  Gloria attended thirteen schools, in eleven years of schooling.

Yes, that is eleven years.  In those days, there was no kindergarten, and, at one point, Gloria skipped a grade, and so graduated a year early.

Gloria's first husband also moved the family quite a lot.

Part of the results of all this moving was that Gloria got very good at packing.  But another aspect of it was that Gloria really, *really* hated to move.  When we got married, I took to telling people that the only reason that Gloria did agree to marry me was that I agreed to move into her place (by now in North Vancouver), and didn't make her move again.

(See also reference to moving in the last part of https://fibrecookery.blogspot.com/2021/12/details-on-glorias-last-weeks-in.html, in the Saturday, December 18th entry)

Previous: https://fibrecookery.blogspot.com/2024/12/mgg-551-hwyd-community-policing.html

Introduction and ToC: https://fibrecookery.blogspot.com/2023/10/mgg-introduction.html

Next: https://fibrecookery.blogspot.com/2024/12/mgg-601-gloria-moving-and-not-moving.html

Romans 16:25-27

Now to him who is able to establish you in accordance with my gospel, the message I proclaim about Jesus Christ, in keeping with the revelation of the mystery hidden for long ages past, but now revealed and made known through the prophetic writings by the command of the eternal God, so that all the Gentiles might come to the obedience that is from faith—-to the only wise God be glory forever through Jesus Christ!  Amen.

Review of "The Wild Robot"

Like in "WALL-E" and "Short Circuit" the accidentally developed intelligence is benign, and even friendly.  (There is even a theory about why it develops this way, although that theory seems to be clearer in the filmmakers' minds than in the script.)  Unlike "Subservience" and "Ex Machina" it does not immediately try to kill us all.  Like in "Her" the intelligence leaves (for a reason), but like "The Iron Giant" there is a promise of a return.

There are a whole bunch of unanswered questions.  There has obviously (from one scene) been significant sea rise.  Was the island formerly part of the mainland?  Is that why human live in a dome?  Are there any other domes?  How do the humans live?  How do the version of the Three Laws of Robotics result in the killer robots and Vontra?  And why doesn't Vontra get what's coming to her?

But, overall, it's really sweet.

(And probably your only chance to see Mark Hamill playing a bear.)